AshokLifeCoach's advice column

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Q: 21/f

Before I start, please do not tell me about the safety of having sex (using condoms to prevent pregnancy, to prevent getting STDs, even if you're on birth control pills, etc.) I am aware of all of these things.

Let me say that my boyfriend and I do not use condoms. We did at first, but I have been on birth control for the past three years. We are also both STD free.

So, my situation is I went through my boyfriend's wallet trying to get a hint of what I should get him for his birthday. His wallet didn't have many things in it and I found a condom. I got to thinking, if we don't usually use condoms, why would he carry one around with him? I thought maybe he forgot about it before he met me or he wanted to be safe just in case? But just in case what? Just in case another girl comes along that he wants to sleep with doesn't give me much of a reassurance.

I just want to understand why or the possibility of him having it would do. I know that if I got him a new wallet, he'll put another condom in it, too. I'm curious on what the purpose may be. Am I thinking too much into it? Should I even be worried about this?

I am confused as to how searching your boyfriends wallet would help you with birthday gift ideas? Sorry if I'm missing the point but given how little you seem to trust him I wonder if there wasn't another motive for looking through the wallet!?
Trust in relationships is really very very simple in my view. There has to be trust for the relationship to be a happy healthy and positive one. Without trust there will be non of those things.

Obviously no one here can tell you if your boyfriend is cheating or not. What I can say is having a condom in his wallet doesn't mean anything within its self. A lot of guys simply always carry condoms as habit and always have. You don't know how long that condom has been in there even.
This is really not an issue about condoms in wallets it's an issue of trust generally. If you really trusted your boyfriend a condom in a wallet wouldn't send your imagination into overdrive. If your boyfriend has never given you any reason not to trust him then you should ask yourself why you don't. I do not mean this in a critical way - but this is really the important question here.
You could always just ask your boyfriend! Though of course that would mean implying to him you don't trust him and confessing to rooting through his wallet!

Go confidently in the direction of your dreams and live the life you imagined

Ashok

Rating: 4

Looking through my boyfriend's wallet shouldn't be confusing at all. I was going through his wallet to see if he carries cash, how many cards he may be carrying around, the quality of his wallet, to see if buying him a new wallet is something to consider.

bio

As a teenager I was an avid advicenators user - hence my motivation to return as an older and hopefully wiser guy, who now has professional training in Hypnotherapy, CBT, NLP and Life Coaching.

My advice will always be honest and to the point. I won't chase high ratings by telling people what they want to hear if that's not what I believe they need to hear! Though your ratings and feedback are appreciated of course.

My mantra in my coaching work is to enable my clients to go confidently in the direction of their dreams and live the life they imagined. That's how I believe we should all live.

Ashok

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Entrepreneur also Hypnotherapist and Life Coach

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August 30, 2014

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January 16, 2015

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