I am a prima-donna pig who is destined for stardom. I am the star of the Muppet Show, a dramatic actress, a great singer, a model and also an advice columnist! Get advice from your favourite Muppet here.
Gender: Female
Location: Hog Springs, Iowa
Occupation: Advice Columnist, Star of the Muppet Show, Dramatic Actress, Great Singer
Member Since: May 19, 2014
Answers: 166
Last Update: July 17, 2016
Visitors: 9237
Main Categories:
Love Life
Mental health
Nutrition
View All
Favorite Columnists
Matt
|
| |
20/f
Junior in college
He is 22
Senior in college
The last week of my sophomore year, I hooked up with this guy. Ever since, we've been texting nonstop. When he's with his friends, when he's on vacation with friends, when he's with his family, in class, at work. He's a cool guy and I like having him around as a friend. We talk about anything, it's just so easy with him. We talk about how hard it was to become friends because or mutual friend didn't want us to be friends because she felt like she was being replaced to anything like him telling me why my battery in my phone doesn't last as long as his.
One day he was acting kinda different and we're friends enough that I can call him out on it and I said I just felt like he didn't really wanna talk anymore since we hooked up and I felt like that was all he wanted and he went into this big thing that if all he wanted to do was hook up, then he wouldn't have went through all the drama with our mutual friend to be friends with me.
I've slept over his place a few times, he's slept over mine. But only the last night I spent at his house, did he try anything sexual and I liked that about him, that he didn't rush anything, he waited til we've spent a few nights together to see if anything was there.
He tells me countless times when he's drunk at the bar, with his friends that he wants to cuddle and that I'm such a good friend to him because I pick him and his friends up from the bar and make sure they're all okay.
^^^This was all last semester from the time we started talking to the last week, that we hooked up.
We went our separate ways for the summer and we still texted every day but we never hung out because we live far from each other.
We've been planning this play fight all summer and he said the day we move back into school that it's happening. I joked that if I won, we aren't friends anymore. He asked what he gets if he wins and I told him anything he wants and he answered back "Huh. I'll remember that when I win."
A few times, he was cute this summer but nothing like before. Like, he texted me that he was watching a basketball game and I texted him something back with "that sounds pretty great" in it as a reply and he texted back "you know what would be pretty great? if my team wins and you were here to scratch my back." Because every time we would spend the night together, I would scratch his back.
School starts back up tomorrow but we've been moved in for about three days. Well, he's been, I'm commuting. We still text every day. Last night, I told him where I was going to hang out and he asked if he could bring his friends to which I said okay but then he said they can't come because his friend got so bad and they didn't want to bring her to where I was in case she would get sick and ruin anything. So, I joked with him that I'm never gonna see him because we're both busy and have our own friends and own lives and he said "you know, you never asked me to hang out over the summer, or we would have seen each other."
Even right now, as I type this, I'm texting him and he's complaining that he can't load his email at school because the wifi is so bad and I asked why he didn't have it on his phone. He said he couldn't figure out how to do it, so I tried to explain how to and he just answered "how about you just do it for me some time :)"
I know it seems like it's punching me in the face that he likes me but I don't know why he doesn't ever ask me to hang out or ask to just see me anymore. Last semester it was so easy that he would just randomly text me and say "hey, are you doing anything tonight, if not, come spend the night" or anything as easy as that. Now, it's like, I get nothing like that.. he tells me all the time that he's with his buds or going to the bar and that kinda thing. I know, class didn't even start yet and I'm jumping the gun but I'm jumping the gun so I know how to handle this.
Do you think there is anything there, feelings wise or attraction wise? Do you think he's waiting for me to make the moves now since he did last semester? I don't have a room on campus since I'm commuting so I can't really do anything about that. Why is it so much different now when he made it so easy last semester?
Thanks. (link)
|
You are just friends. I'm sure he is attracted to you. I'm sure he has feelings for you. But, you are still just friends because neither one of you have made a move to be anything more. Moreover, you have given him signs that you are not looking for a relationship.You sent the wrong message by hooking up with him outside of a relationship.
Agreeing to date someone is a commitment. People need to think about whether or not they are ready to commit to developing a relationship with just one person. If you hookup outside of a relationship, you are essentially saying "Let's not think about the commitment stuff right away. Let's just go with the flow". Unfortunately, this casual attitude does not encourage either person to think about taking things any further emotionally.
The other thing to consider is that men are emotionally lazy. They like to do as little emotional work as possible. If you hookup with them outside of a relationship, that sends the message that you are happy with the friendship the way it is and that no more work is necessary on their end. Refusing to hookup outside of a relationship motivates men to take initiative ato begin a relationship. Why did he make it so easy last semester? Simple: he had to in order to catch your eye and to get you to progress physically. Hooking up with him made you seem like you require less work than he had originally anticipated.
I'm sure he is still interested in you, but you are going to have to change this casual attitude he is taking towards you. My advice is to continue the flirtatious texting. This guy clearly enjoys talking with you. But, during your conversations, don't ask him to hang out. Don't ask why you haven't hung out. Play a little hard to get Let him come to you. On the other hand, if he asks you questions such as "Do you want to hang out?" "Are you looking for a relationship?" or "Do you like me?", etc. you need to answer them as honestly as possible. If he asks you a question, be direct. That is NOT the time to flirt or play hard to get. Serious questions need serious answers.
If you let him come to you but remain honest about your feelings for him when asked, you will end up dating him. If someone else doesn't get to him first.
Toodles,
Miss Piggy
|
|