hey there! My name is Alexandra (or Alex). I am just your friendly neighborhood Spiderman.
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Ok, so this question could be triggering I don't know so sorry if it is. I am an outpatient recovering from anorexia bulimia, depression and mild OCD , (yeah I know pretty messed up). my friend from school is having a pool party and has invited lots of people including the girl that effectively sent me to hospital, she bullied me constantly online and at school and no one knew.(the girl, not my friend) I still haven't told people about my problems with her girl because I know they won't believe me. Anyway I really want to go and I have set it as one of my short term goals to achieve but I am worried about this girl being mean to me, also I will be in swim wear so people will defiantly notice how fat I am now I'm out of hospital and also all the scars on my body due to self harm, I am just scared she will bring it up infront of people and I don't know what to do!? (link)
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Hello there, OP! Ah, recovery...such a wonderful, sunshiny journey, isn't it?
I can totally understand why you are hesitant about telling friends about what you've been through. I am a recovered anorexic and I didn't tell my friends until about two-years after I fully recovered. Some who don't understand EDs can get the complete wrong idea, so I would be care about who you tell when that time comes, but no hurry! The chick who bullied you is clearly an unhealthy influence so I hope you distance yourself from her.
I think its great that you want to face your fears and step out in public in a swim suit and what not. That's very brave of you. :) You deserve to have fun. Recovery is hard work! I was very self conscious myself during recovery; I felt like I was eating more than everyone in the room.
I don't know how mature this chick is, but if you absolutely want to go then I would hang out with your closest friends, people that you really feel secure with. Do your closest friends know that she has been bulling you? If so, I would let them know about your fears of her being a dick to you: "Hey guys, so since Sally doesn't like me very much and is rude to me, will you guys have my back"? I'm sure your friends will be willing to stay with you so that you are not obligated to be around this girl. You don't even have to mention to them about the ED.
What also can work is that you let your friend know that this girl has been bulling you and that you aren't too comfortable with her. You don't have to tell her to un-invite her but if you let your friend know how this bully treats you, then your friend can help look after you. Honestly, I think the bully will be too preoccupied with her group to take the time and gain up on you. And if you find it easier to tell her and your friends about the bullying and the Ed, then more power to you.
Again, I understand the discomfort of being exposed, especially during recovery. If your scars are noticeable you can use makeup concealer to conceal them. They'll probably be especially hard to notice if you're going to be in the water. You can also wear a light sweatshirt or wrap if you are feeling uncomfortable outside the water. You can wear a suit that doesn't have bright colors if you are still afraid of attracting attention.Hopefully this bully chick doesn't decide to waste her ever so precious time on you. Like I said, I believe it is best to stay away from her as much as you can. Stay close to your friends and those you trust.
Good for you, OP! It took me a long time to be social again after I recovered. Recovery is the most difficult thing I ever did in my life so I applaud you for pushing forward and stepping out. If you decide not to go, then that is totally ok; you aren't a wimp. I hope you have a great time! Let me know how it went. :)
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Rating: 5
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Thanks that was so helpful and great to feel supported I will be brave and let you know how it goes, thanks again for your help :)
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