I have had my fair share of life's lessons and learned from them. I come from a family filled with divorce and family problems so I have a rough idea on how to personally handle things.
As for matters of the heart I can tell when a relationship is or isn't going to work. I understand the importance of communication and give and take after spending around two years in a relationship were I almost ran my ex boyfriend's household and looked after his siblings.
I understand that in certain parts of the world I am not yet of legal age to have a sexual relationship and that in some religious circles it is frowned upon for an unmarried woman to do so. What can I say? I have been in love and I have expressed that love but I have always been careful to avoid any trouble. I know how most contraception works and how the system works so don't be afraid.
Gender: Female
Location: UK
Age: 22
Member Since: August 17, 2011
Answers: 144
Last Update: February 21, 2015
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Well on Tuesday I managed muster up the nerves to tell this girl that I really liked her, but at the last minute I chickened out because I heard that she was going out with her ex again. So that night on Facebook I decided to ask if they were seeing each other and she said yes they were, then started asking if there was something I wanted to tell her...bottom line I snapped and told her that I do like her an have for a while now....this is where things start going down hill....she responded with this..
FINALLY!! i don't mean to sound cocky but ive known for a very long time that you've liked me, but has that affected the way i am around you NO OFC NOT!!! now that you have told me is that going to make things awkward between us deffo not, nothing is going to change between us!! Honest truth, if he wasn't in the picture things would be soooo different and ngl i probably would be with you, but he is in the picture and im sorry but i really like him! i will always have feeling for you, even when im a cripple and married I'll still have these feelings but i just think we should keep wha we've got now!! nothing will change though now you've told me okay, i promise!!
Then I said thanks for being honest ect and she comes back with this (we have an inside joke that we're married with kids, it's a detailed inside joke)
You will always be my husband!! and i mean it when i say this, if you had told me sooner, then maybe, maybe it would have been different but my feelings lie with will :L just know that i did like you and still have feelings for you!! i cant afford not to have you in my life though so please can we still be best friends??
I said yeah but could have some space to get over what has happened and she said that's fine, but yesterday at school I was louder than usual swearing a lot and when I got home all I've done is gloom around my room....what the hell is going on and what can I do about it!? I feel like I'm drowning, what the hell do i do?! (she is in loads of my classes) (link)
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It sounds like she is trying to spare your feelings in her own way. As for you, you are upset about how things have gone and that is perfectly understandable.
There isn't much you can do about it, you can either hope that she splits up with her boyfriend or move on and find a girl who is straight with you. If she truly loved her boyfriend she wouldn't have said that she liked you and classed you as her 'husband'. I am in a long term relationship and would never say to another man that I classed him as my husband because it wouldn't be fair to my partner.
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Rating: 5
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Thanks, your advice is much appreciated
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