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I was dating this guy R for almost two years and almost a year back we had our first serious break up. I started seeing this guy J after that for a week after which I got back with R. Now, a few months back R and I broke up again and I repeated the mistake of going back to J. We had a "fairytale" relationship but after a week or so R came back to me and we started dating again. I told J everything and he stopped talking to me. Things turned a little nasty between me and J. MY boyfriend R treats me horribly still I chose to be with him because I love him a lot. So I have finally decided to end it for good with R. I miss J terribly right now and no I dont mean it in a rebound way. I miss him because he was my best friend and no one ever treated me the way he did. The last time J and I spoke, I hurled a lot of abuses at him (even though it was my fault). I want to apologize to him and get back with him but I'm scared because his friends wont let him talk to me (I think). Plz help!! (link)
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You're not gonna get J back.
It's harsh, it's horrible, and it's true. People have a threshold for the things they will put up with, and you crossed his. If you hadn't he's still be around.
Now, you can, of course, try to contact him and see what he says. Chances are that he's not going to scream at you or call you c*nt or something, but things are NEVER EVER going to be what they were. And, in truth, reaching out to him after hurting him like that will probably just hurt him again.
People screw up. You screwed up. You can't always fix things like that... but you CAN learn from them.
If I were you, and you really want to contact J, you should, but you need to say something like, "I was thinking about you and I regret what happened. I just wanted to tell you that I realized my mistake, even if it was too late, and I'm leaving R for good. I know that we can never be like we were, and that it's my fault, but if you ever wanted to get together for (insert dinner, drinks, whatever here) I would love to see you."
Then... regardless of what he does with that, you have to move on with your life. I recommend being single for a little while... which is scary and awful... for like the first month. You need to figure yourself out, and while it's uncomfortable to do, it's rewarding as hell.
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Rating: 5
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Probably the most helpful and honest thing anyone said to me my whole life! Thank you!
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