about

Hi, I'm Katie ^-^

I really love giving advice, even if I'm not very good at it sometimes.. I still try!

Having experienced severe depression when I was younger, my best category would have to be mental health. I also do a lot of research on mental health, because honestly, it just really interests me. I've been thinking about becoming a social worker someday, to help others like me :) Giving advice here will probably be a good start for me ^-^

Well, I guess that's it. Have a nice day! :)
-Katie

~May you always find your way~

advice

I know this is strange, even downright crazy, but I want to know how people feel about having twins intentionally, life with fertility drugs and artificial insemination.

The thing is that I’m a second born and long story short, I haven’t been feeling very warm towards the position of the first born lately. There are problems I face as a second born and I know first borns face problems as well. My sister gets treated like a queen while I get treated like a nothing. The only people who don't make me feel less important than her are my mom, granddad, and uncle, but they can really get peed on by people for not catering to my sister.

My sister is terribly overly sensitive and her feelings are always more important than mine. So are her wants and needs. I've always gotten shafted on things because SHE had to get her way, even on my birthday.

I really can’t get over my resentment of the first born position. I'm tired of people thinking that I'm not as important or special as my sister just because she's the first born and I'm the second. I DO NOT want people to think that I don't value my younger kids as much as my first born. I also don't want my first born to be victimized by me subconsciously or anything because of how I feel about that position. Children are simply far too valuable for be treated in either of those manners.

I feel so screwed up and I know I need counseling which I will look into, but I'm still looking for good, caring advice now. The only people I've asked about this either couldn't care less and tell me to quit whining about my life, or they don't understand the question and laugh at me for, "asking how to have twins intentionally" as they think I'm doing. This reaction makes me feel bad and wish I hadn't gone to those people for advice, so I'm counting on the people here for real help.

There is a way to prevent the first born and second born problems. I’ve been thinking lately about arranging go have twins, but I have concerns about twins as well. I’ll list the pros and cons I’ve come up with below. Also just so you know, I know I'm over thinking this. I have a tendency to do that, but I still feel that this is a problem.

Pro
-It will prevent my second born from being treated like the a younger, less important version of my first born.
-No one will think that my first born is more important to me than the other kid(s).
-If their is any favoritism, it won’t be based on birth order.
-My kids will always have a friend their own age around.
-I won’t hurt my first born by favoring my second born.

Con
-They might be treated like a unit.
-They won’t have their own birthday.
-They won’t have their own high school graduation, college graduation, ect.
-They’ll go off to college at the same time, which will be twice as hard as when one goes off to college.

Well, I understand your problem (I was the second child in my family), but having twins may not be the best choice. Having one child is hard enough, but having twins is like 'double trouble'. I think it would be better to just have one child, then maybe another a year or two later. You just have to make sure you're giving both kids equal attention so neither of them feel like you favor the other child. All I'm really saying is that twins are a lot of work. They also may not feel very special if they have a twin (Especially an identical twin), because they'll basically have a clone. If you just have one child, they can still have someone their age to play with if you have another child soon after. I just think that would be easier for you as a parent. Good luck!

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(Rating: 5) Thanks, I realize now that having twins is not a good idea and won't solve anything. I'm feeling much, much better about my problems with birth order now though. Thanks again.
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