Gender: Female
Member Since: August 17, 2013
Answers: 30
Last Update: September 29, 2013
Visitors: 2461
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I love my boyfriend vry much,and wants to marry him. we r dating each othr for 2yrs. but i lied to him about my past that i don't had any relationshp in past. actually i had a relatn when i jst 13/14 years old. my x bf was very rude and tortured me a lot mentally and physically ..and aslo sexually. so i ended the relation.after few yrs i met in online with my present boyfriend.and started love him. when he proposed me i said yes to him. but i can't tell him about my past and i also tell him that i am a virgin.i was afraid to lose him bcz he is very orthodox.so i can't tell about my dark past.now he knows everything from a person.and asked me and i told him everything about my life. now he can't trust me,he call me a sl*t,, and he said that
i deceived him and used him.he now wants to break the relationship or IF I WANTED TO BE WITH HIM THEN I HAVE TO DO WHATEVER HE WILL SAY. AND ALSO LEAVE MY STUDY AND MARRY HIM AND BE A GOOD HOUSE WIFE.AND he tell me that this my exam. if i passed then he love me again .but i can't leave my study at this time. so he don't talk with me .I really love him a lot.i can't live without him.what can i do??? plz suggest me .. (link)
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Your boyfriend is being harsh, unreasonable, demanding, and controlling.
He is not someone that you should continue to be with. You are probably better off without him.
I understand that he feels like he can't trust you right now because he is probably shocked to hear that news since you kept it to yourself, and it was something that he wasn't aware of before getting into a relationship with you, but the name-calling is still disrespectful. I don't know every detail about your relationship but from what you wrote, I don't understand what would make your boyfriend think that your using him.
If he loved you, he wouldn't stop loving you just because he wants you to stop your studies and be a house wife. His expectations are unrealistic, demanding and controlling. It sounds like he is now manipulating you.
YOU ARE NOT WRONG for telling him about your past. It can be essential or important for you to tell this information to someone that you are in a relationship, but that's something that you want to say in the beginning. You shouldn't feel like you were wrong for telling him. I'm saying this incase you feel regret for telling him about it. Your boyfriend particularly had a problem with it, and the way that he's treating you now and talking to you shows you what kind of a guy he is and can be.
It is unnacceptable for someone to tell another person that they have to do anything and everything that they say. That is very manipulating and in a way, it can be abusive. You never know what this guy is capable of doing or tell you to do. It sounds like you would be treated like a slave by him.
Your relationship would never be fair with him.
Do what makes YOU happy and continue to do them if it's a POSITIVE thing. You should continue your studies. Don't let anyone discourage you or tell you that you should stop doing what your doing.
He is telling you that if you want to be with him you have to do whatever he say. He says that you'll have to leave/quit your studies, marry him and you'll have to be a good house wife. What in the world? A GOOD person/significant other would not talk to you as if you were a puppet or robot.
You don't owe him your life. I suggest you stop seeing this guy and move on. Believe me, there's millions of people out here in this world, you have to find someone that you are genuinely happy with. Someone who is in a 50/50 relationship meaning everything is fair and there's a compromise and you make each other happy to the best of your abilities.
Best Wishes & Regards!
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Rating: 5
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thanks .thnk u so much. ur advice is really helpful. i was confused bt ur opinion is very good and i am clear now.
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