Gender: Female
Member Since: August 17, 2013
Answers: 30
Last Update: September 29, 2013
Visitors: 2456
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So me and my boyfriend of a year and a half who I was madly in love with broke up last week. He broke up with me. I thought i would be devastated but i was more relieved. I knew we would be friends but It would take time. we play games with eachother on our ipads and i decided i needed a break before I was ready to talk to him again. I just wanted to figure things out. So over the week he kept nudging me on the game to play since it was my turn. I just ignored it. so today he texted me asking if i was ready to talk. which is so sweet because it shows me he really misses me as i do him but im not ready. I still want my space. I kind of like this space. I told him no and he said he hopes the day im ready to talk to him again comes soon. I feel so guilty.. I feel like he's really sad and i dont want him to be sad. I love him but i want more space. I was planning on texting him in about a week and a half from today but now i feel pressured that I should do it sooner and I'm worried he'll forget/move on and not care about me if i wait another week and a half.
what do you guys think? Any opinions are greatly appreciated! thanks so much!
p.s im 21 and he's 29 if that helps! (link)
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Do what is best for you. You like the space between the two of you right, so take that space as long as you truly want and need. Do not put much consideration into giving up the space that you want just to make him happy. It is nice to put others feelings into consideration in most situations but in others, like in this case you should put your own feelings and wants before his. This space allows you think and do whatever you need to do to feel ease possibly, and it can be a healing process. If you want to stay friends, make that clear to him. If he moves on or acts unpleasantly different because of this space, it's a typical reaction. He most definitely misses you, but he may feel an anxiety or eagerness to talk to you that he may not show due to you calling out this space. When you're ready to talk if he doesn't feel the same way about keeping you as a friend, he probably feels upset and has decided to move past the situation and cut ties even though a. That'll you did was ask for space. But if he's an adult about the situation, he will come around. That's what matters. He should try to respect your decision whether he agrees with it or not. You should communicate that with him, if you haven't already. He may not know exactly how you feel about the space you're asking for but he should try to understand that you're trying to deal with your feelings. If space is what you really want, go for it. He may not like it but do it for yourself if that's what you really want. Be honest with him and with yourself about it and don't make the mistake of taking this space too far though, like for a month. Because then he may think or get the idea that you don't really want him in your life anymore. At the end of the day, communication is key.
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Rating: 5
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Thanks so much!! Exactly what I needed to hear!
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