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I'm a female in my late 20's..I don't want to overanalyze the whole "how long do guys wait to ask you out" thing, but oh, we'll. Months ago, I met a guy (dude # 1) and a few of his friends at a dance party, and got along well with one of his friends (dude # 2). I thought he was good looking , but didn't pursue him. I actually went out on a date with dude # 1, when really, I was secretly more interested in his friend (dude # 2). Fast forward to the other night, when I sent dude # 2 a drunk message on Facebook, saying that I think I went after the wrong guy (his friend, dude #1). He wrote back saying it was good hearing from me and asked how I was. I wrote him back, and when he replied, he asked if I'd like to meet for a drink sometime. I said I'd love to, to which he replied "great, hope to see you soon." SO, after that, I took the initiative and messaged him my phone number, saying we could make plans for when he is free. That was last night, and I know he's seen my message. It's only been a day, but I thought I'd throw this out there, especially to the guys: How long would a guy typically wait to initiate plans via text message in this sort of scenario? Also, did I maybe seem forthcoming in any way? I didn't think so, but I only waited an hour to reply with my number so I don't know if maybe I seemed too eager. Thanks for the feedback! (link)
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I think you are looking at this the wrong way. So for dude #2, he probably likes you and thinks it's cute that you feel like you "went for the wrong guy." He's probably a little flattered and yes would like to peruse you. However he may feel reservations based on the fact that his friend is into you. Maybe he doesn't want to do anything too fast because he's worried about breaking some sort of "bro code." Do you have any idea how close of friends they are?
I think you should realize that you are trying to pull a switch-a-roo (you meet someone you like then you meet their friend like them more). It's a very tricky and delicate move, with many opportunities to go wrong and cause drama! I myself have attempted the switch-a-roo 4 times. Only once did it work, thats how i got my current boyfriend and we had a lot of drama, jealousy and hate to deal with from his friend. After being together around 9 months his friend finally started hanging out with us both at the same time. So be happy this guy is taking it slow. He might be trying to be careful because he is about to journey into delicate territory. Maybe he doesn't know how to go about it or if he should do it.
You need to be patient and sensitive. Maybe he will back out and decide he doesn't want to hurt his friend. Maybe you will have to not see either of them for a while. Maybe the thought of dude #1 taking you out needs to be forgotten before you and dude #2 even have a chance.
So in closing, if dude #2 is what you want, don't go out with #1 anymore and sit back and be patient. Getting what you want can be complicated and not always easy. The switch-a-roo is a tricky move but if my calculations are correct you have a 25% chance of success :)
Good Luck Honey!
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Rating: 5
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Thank you, your advice is spot on! He actually ended up reaching out and we went out last night. He's in no position to start anything- just got out of a serious relationship. And we didn't click the way we did before.. Oh well! Like happens
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