Member Since: May 3, 2011
Answers: 1053
Last Update: December 12, 2012
Visitors: 35243
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So my boyfriend is dealing with Depression. he's had trouble finding work for quite awhile now. He had a job for awhile but had to quit it due to the awful commute. He recently got a part time job but with the gas and parking permit he has to have, he doesn't even feel like it's worth it.
We've been together for about 2 years and 8 months now and still don't live together because he lives with his friends and hasn't been able to get a place of his own because of his work problems and I can't help atm because I'm a full time student.
I understand why he's depressed, I just dunno how to help him. It hurts me to see him like this, I wish I could help more but we're in different phases in our lives, a lot of his issues I don't know how to help him much or pull him out of.
Any ideas would be much helpful..
oh and please no one suggest him getting therapy...it doesn't do much good when you can't afford it. Thanks! (link)
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You're an awesomely nice girl for staying with this guy despite his problems. However, you don't feel like you have to save him, do you? That would make you codependent. Do you have a history of picking guys who are kind of like wounded birds? If so, you need a therapist.
However, if there is no codependency problem because you can see past his problems with depression for the underlying person he apparently is, in the short term you need to concentrate on your school work so that at least one of you emerges in a position of strength rather than both of you sinking under the weight of the guy's depression. Also, I want you to remember that whatever negative actions this guy might pull in the future, NONE of them is your fault.
So get through school and that way once you're employed you guys can build a life together from a solid foundation, something that neither of you has right now. I wish you luck. I hope he can get himself sorted out.
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Rating: 5
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That's what I've been doing, focusing on school so I can help us later. I just love him and don't like seeing him sad, but I know that all I can do is be there for him and be supportive. Thanks for the advice!
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