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Member Since: October 12, 2009
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Last Update: December 7, 2013
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hey guys so my bf n i recently got n in a long distance rela recently and in that time he made some new friends (3 months of friendship only) and in the time i have seen his pics of fb ... there is always this girl that he hangs out with all the tme ... he said thta he is a gud friend of hers ... so i cant even create a big issue out of it ... yesterday he told me he ll be doing a project which he has to run every night .. that means no more talking to him .. during the week days .. n it was already hard to digest that but i was like this is for his career but then today he told me that his 3rd partner is the girl who he hangs out with a lot .. the only prob that i have is that is that he ll be spending more time with that girl .. than with me ... i know tlking on skype can be boring but i am willing to give him that much amoutn of time of my lfe than y cant he ... the pics of him with that girl r like she kissing him on his cheeks or she is leaning on his shoulder ... anyhow ... i dont know what should do i do .. talk to him bout it .. he is surely be like wth its my work ... i cant be selfish but how do i control my feelings? pls help thx (link)
I don't want to read into this too much, but it sounds to me like you have every right to be worried. Even if he's not into this other girl romantically, he's making excuses so he doesn't need to make the effort to skype you or call you -- the only real contact you have with each other during a long distance relationship.

And to be honest, if she's in pics kissing him on the cheek and leaning on him, it sounds to me like she's trying to make some advances, and he's not setting boundaries with her.

Long distance relationships can be hard enough without the "other person" worries, so it sounds to me like you need to talk to your boyfriend and ask him why he can't make the time to call you. He can do it when he's not at work or working on this project. It's also fair for you to ask why he can make so much time for this girl (as evidenced by pics on fb) but not for you, and you can feel out what he's told her about your relationship. If he's dodgy about it or shuts you down with some simple excuse then that's a problem -- any good relationship (and especially a long-distance one!) is built on a foundation of good communication.

I've been on both ends of this situation with the "other person" and I've also done the long-distance thing: trust me, you don't want to let this fester in your mind and say nothing about it. In the long run, it ends up worse for everyone.

Hope this helps, good luck!
~Pollux


Rating: 5
thanks for making so much sense! that really helped me to see things better and be less emotional when i wrote him. you REALLY helped me! THANK YOU!




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