i was whole life desperate to find the meaning of life am atheist age 18 have horrible parents lived most of the life in depression am intellectual and read like hundred of books just this year i recovered from depression for first time this when my parents started to get together(they just talk a little by now)after they got together i become like king of the world made so much friends of both genders defined my purpose of life but it was just for awhile now i went through most horrible forum of depression and become completely emotionless just yesterday got my emotions back( toughest fight ever like finding thing that didn't exist) and the same night my parents again had fight , so well living in hell but i can bare it i only need some emotions i cannot feel pain or joy i know i have emotions now but still don't feel complete even my older state of super sad was better and moreover my fiinal exams are going which is gonna decide which university i get well this is my life all i have is hope that kept me alive
Member Since: March 13, 2012
Answers: 2
Last Update: March 14, 2012
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Hello, I'm M/16. I've had some bad personal problems for the past two years. And finally, they are going away. For the past few weeks I've been feeling better than before, A LOT better. But now it's starting to seem like nothing has changed. I haven't really had a girlfriend, ever. There was this one girl I was liking a lot for about two years, I couldn't stop thinking about her. But she does not like me, I finally stopped caring and now, once my problems disappear, I start liking a new girl. And basically there is no hope whatsoever. She has a boyfriend and I can tell she does not like me by the things she says. This is about the 5th or 6th gal I've failed with. I don't get it. People tell me to wait after college or something. Hell no. My problems are said to have an effect on how I communicate with others in general, but I've eliminated my habit and addiction. I just want to blame everyone else, then I get mad at myself for it. Then I start thinking about the ego and my history, I start to feel crazy and whatnot, it's very confusing. It's like nobody really knows who I am. (link)
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i also caught in this thoughts that life is meaning less and i convinced myself to the very end i felt empty and life meaningless that even if i earn billion dollar or anything else everything is meaningless but the root cause of it was low self-esteem which give this feeling self-esteem is unlimited self worth unlimited-self love and growth people with low self esteem lack these three things they can't even think of growth,was my answer was meaningfull?
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