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Hi! I'm Linda. I would love to try to help you with advice about love and life. I can also try to help with Health: Mental issues in particular.

However, you can ask me anything. I believe in the value of honesty and I will do my best to be ethical, fair and genuine. xoxoxoxo

advice

I'm a 20 year old female from America. My boyfriend and I have been going out for 7 months, but we've known each other since we were little. But my boyfriend has a dark sense of humor. He'll make jokes about other girls or breaking up with me or other things. He sees them as just jokes, and I'm not the type that can't take a joke but sometimes he does it too much. He tells me he'll tone it down but it just seems to occur again. How can I handle this? Thanks in advance! :)

Dear Brunt of Hurtful Jokes,

Occasionally, when we date someone who we've known for a very long time, the relationship tends to continue in that mode. It sounds like he's still in the juvenile state of development in relationships and you've matured to where you just don't see the need for the 'hurtful jokes' anymore. You are 20 years old and it sounds as if you're learning the ugly truth about passive aggressiveness.

He sounds as if he really is being passive-aggressive because saying hurtful things and then passing them off as jokes can just about make you think that you're the thin-skinned one when it actually is quite the opposite. I can only speak from personal experience, so my advice would be to not respond to these comments at all. An awkward silence to his comments can speak volumes. What I would also suggest is not to go down to his level. You're a young woman, so I have a feeling that you'll find someone when you least expect it that will respect you and his influence on your life will lessen considerably. It sounds as if you're maturing at a much faster rate than he is and trust me on this... it's going to start getting really old very quickly. Especially at the juncture you are now, it sounds as if you're just about over it. You could let it run it's course or you may possibly get to the point where enough is enough. I also get the feeling that you've been very patient but in my opinion, he's not getting it. And by the time he does, it may be too late. (for him)

Just try not to stoop to his level and let your maturity speak for yourself. Since you've known this person for so long, it may be just the way he has always related to you and finds it hard to break an old, (bad) habit. Good luck to you and if you'd like, let me know how it works out.

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(Rating: 5) Thank you VERY much!
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