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Q: Hey. I like this guy but he has a girlfriend. We communicate mostly through text. I met him last year. And since I started liking him, I started texting even more, in order to get his attention. To be really honest, I was hopeful. And we chatted through texts. He is open, easy going and honest. I told him that I like him through text. He said he can take me on a date. Now we kept texting. But he has a life of his own, and a busy one. I kept texting and it happened so that when he got drunk, we talked dirty. We have done so many times. Then after some time I felt disgusted because it seemed like I am a concubine of some sort. So I started insisting on walking away and that also I told him and went mad on him, seriously overreacting. My mistake. Sigh. The hope still has’t gone away. I text and wait for his reply, sometimes. I really like him, and there are many reasons. But the truth is he doesn’t know me much, and we never got to spend too much time together since we live in different cities. And so he doesn’t like me that way. I am not able to gte over this crush, I have tried hard. I need some help. I don’t want to appear needy before him, which I never do when it’s somebody other than him. I want to attract him but not force him into it. He is in a long distance relationship and it seems to me that he loves her, genuinely. I want to get rid of my texting him and waiting for replies. What should I do?
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I've been in your exact situation before, and let me tell you right now that it's going to bring you nothing but trouble. and I know how it feels! It feels right during the moment. He may seem really nice and perfect to you. But the truth of the matter is that any guy who 1. is cheating on his girlfriend, 2. is keeping you on the side and 3. is not willing to commit to either side, is just plain bad news. Forget about him.
Just remember that crushes and flings are all mental. The more you indulge in this crush, the harder it'll be to get over it. So the first thing you need to do is to isolate yourself from him completely. Delete his number, delete him from Facebook, put away any pictures you may have of him or gifts he may have given you. Remember: out of sight, out of mind.
It also might be a good idea to keep his number familiar to your eyes. If he texts you, DON'T ANSWER IT. Don't even view the message. Delete it immediately and make it an instinctive habit. The worst thing you can do is expose yourself to temptation.
From there, it'll get easier. Find ways to distract yourself and forget about him. Hang out with your friends, pick up a hobby, maybe even find a new guy (a better guy) who is single and willing to get to know you completely. You deserve somebody available who's a good person and won't string you along. You at least owe yourself that. :)
If you need any more help, let me know! Good luck girl
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Problem is he doesn't want me to go off completely. I guess you are right. But let me tell you, I have tried to isolate myself and failed many times. It's not that easy, but I would keep trying. Ultimately it'l go off. :/ Thank you, so much.
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bio
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I'm 19. Freshman at Purdue University. Filipino. I'm a sister of Delta Phi Lambda. I have a boyfriend named Forrest. I'm a listener.
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Info
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Gender: Female Location: Indianapolis Age: 19 Member Since: December 22, 2011 Answers: 11 Last Update: December 23, 2011 Visitors: 2076
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