Member Since: May 3, 2011
Answers: 1053
Last Update: December 12, 2012
Visitors: 35241
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i do not know how to start this but appology for this long statement. i couldn't analyze these things anymore... let me start it this way, i am married for almost two years now and i love my husband. recently, i work with this lady and i find her very attractive. the thing is i don't know if she's gay or not and sending me mixed signals. i find her going on her way just to be around me or something, used to flirt with me before (i've seen her before i worked with her), stares at me when am not looking, used to stare at me when i was talking (before) and seems to be jealous when i talk to another men (like in a friendly way, not flirty). MOST IMPORTANTLY, i wonder so much why does our coworkers watches us whenever we are around together. they look at us, literally! it seems to me that they are listening to our body language or something. i don't understand... i really don't. since i started working with her i don't remember doing any flirtatious act on her. i never have. the only thing that happened was before i worked with her. like i say 2-3 times. well anyways, all of these happened before until last night... she worked with me directly and asked me bunches of personal questions like how is my husband, where did we met, etc and etc... do i have plans going back home to my country. i said yes i do. but am looking for someone to fly with me so i won't be by myself. she said she would go, she'd love to. then later when i asked her to go out with me and my friends because my other friend is bringing another person ( i don't wanna be out of place) she said yes if i wanted her to go (said yeah i do) and asked if we go to a bar and i said nope we don't do that. we just go out shopping. she said that's cool. i just thought you want me to WORK FOR YOU (what in the world does that mean???). that really got me. i laughed it out though. i asked her number and she gave it to me. later i asked her if she wanna go out watch movie, she said it's up to us. i can see she seemed to be starting in doubt, so when i got off from work i told her she don't have to go if she don't want to and that if something would come up. i even said i really like her and she said oh really? (she said it in a deep low voice) but i didn't told her that in a romantic way. she said she'll let us know and that she's saving her money because she's going to college soon. well anyways the fact is nobody knows am bisexual but i can see that she can sense that (that am bi). well, an hour after i texted her and she seems to be not interested or something...? i asked her questions and she answers it but she's not reciprocating my point on texting her and asking her out. i just wanna know her and be friends. she's very nice in every way. gracious i must say. am attracted to her, i admit that. however, i know where i stand on my ground and i cannot act on it. did she found everything weird? is she losing interest on me or did she even have an interest with me at all?
i honestly don't know what is going on so please please please i need everybody's help here analyzing these situation. am not even understanding my own self. i wanna know what is going on with her and what does she want from me. (link)
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I think initially she may have been in lust with you but then when she actually got a chance to interact with you found that perhaps the chemistry wasn't there after all.
Also, she knows that you're not going to be accessible to her as much as perhaps she would like because you're married. Then there is the moral question about being the other woman that may break up a marriage.
Just carry on with your life as normal and if she wants something more from you than a casual friendship she will probably indicate that. Put the ball in her court. It will make things easier on your psychologically.
In the meantime, you may want to check out this forum for closeted bisexuals and gays:
http://www.emptyclosets.com/forum/index.php
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Rating: 5
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thanks for your opinion and it does makes sense too. i appreciate that. she gets me confuse. earlier she was triyng to catch my attention? i don't know but everytime i turn around she's most of the time around me. trying to make an excuse work... am not sure if it's just me. i don't know what's running on her mind. it scares me sometimes because not that i know of that somebody had done this to me before. i mean being bold. i get attracted to women too but i hide it and i think i had been good with it. what get me is that i really feel like she's pissed when i start talking to men (in a friendly way). i don't know... if she's turn off and not interested, why is she doing what she's doing now?
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