I like to help people so feel free to ask me for any advice :) I'm not a font of all knowledge but I can offer honest realistic advice.
Other than that I'm just a student who likes having fun and playing games.
Gender: Female
Location: England
Occupation: Student
Age: 18
Member Since: May 7, 2011
Answers: 111
Last Update: January 8, 2013
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I am a 16 year old female. I am going to be a senior in high school. When I was back in jr high, I had a favorite teacher and it was quite evident that I was his favorite student. We were so close, he was like a second dad to me, how I saw it anyway. Other students were jealous that they didn't get the treatment from him that I did, so badly that the only thing they could come up with is that we were "together". Honestly, from an outsider looking it, it would look as if we were dating. But he would have no intention of dating a 7/8/9 th grader which was what I was in jr high. I am now in sr high and we still stay in contact.
-He comes to my school to watch over some teachers and we'll steal quick glances at each other
-He'll tell me he likes when I visit him during the school year on my walks home
-I'm the only student that during my years of having him and now not having him that is able to call him by his first name
-He asks me for my opinions on his teaching lessons (about what would interest the kids because I had him and he knows that I would be honest if his lessons were boring)
-He asks me about my personal life and he talks to me about his which is something he never does with other students
-One time when I visited him it was during a practice with the kids so I sat there at his desk and saw how the kids were doing and then I went back again with my friend the following week and he didn't let us sit in but he let me sit in alone the week before
-The first time I visited him was after Christmas break with a friend of mine and she asked if he liked his late Christmas present and he said "I love my fantastic Christmas present" and she said after we left that he hadn't looked that happy in a long time.
-The following week, I went alone so he would let me sit in and listen and after every kid had left, he exited his office and was walking out the door to drive home when he saw me standing at the door, he acknowledged that I was still there and asked if I had a ride, if I didn't, he could drive me home. He never offers kids rides home, ever.
He's the only teacher that I still make an effort to see because he was a very important person in my life.
--what do you think about us? more than just student teacher?
I really need to know if you think we are "wrong" because I am going on an 11 day school field trip out of the country and he is the head of the arts, which is what I am going for, so I will be with him everyday. So, are you like everyone else and think we're together or something? (link)
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Okay, this is how I'd like to start, by explaining the concept of "Grooming". Grooming is when an elder person (usually male) pays large amounts of positive attention to a younger child, this builds a foundation of trust on the child's part and makes them very easy to manipulate into things such as sexual favours. And yes, Grooming can last for several years before the predator can be successful.
Your story makes me very concerned for your well being, Teachers have to follow the law and remain professional with all students, the only exception is if the student is family or neighbours (EG the teacher is good friends with the students family). Anyway, from what you have told me here, this is classic grooming, and I would be very careful if I were you.
This may help, think back to when he began showing you attention, were you alone very often? did you have family troubles? these are some signs that people can lock onto and make you an "easy target" in their eyes. By all means, a strong teacher-student relationship is a good thing, but personally this feels like it has breached the limits.
If I were you, I would go on your trip, enjoy yourself but keep yourself to your friends more than this teacher, try to avoid being alone with him and please remember, if he ever asks you to do anything you don't want to do or know you shouldn't, do not be afraid to say no (no matter what he says.) If you become afraid for your well being, find another teacher and tell them exactly what happened, they are supposed to protect you and this teacher of yours can easily shift his attention to a younger, easier to overpower girl. Be careful and watch for the signs of a sexual predator. If you need to talk you can message me whenever you like :)
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