hey there! My name is Alexandra (or Alex). I am just your friendly neighborhood Spiderman.
I'm here because I would like to help people with whatever may be burdening them.
I am empathetic and insightful. However, keep in mind that I am not a therapist but will do my best to help with whatever it is you are going through. :)
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Gender: Female
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Age: 19
Member Since: March 16, 2011
Answers: 48
Last Update: October 16, 2014
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I dated this guy for 2 months. We weren't official, but he told me he never liked anyone as much as he liked me (he's 18), never found a girl like me, lost hope in relationships until he met me, etc. He gave me every compliment in the book. We had really deep conversations I was never able to have with ANYONE else.
But, excuse the expression, I was out of his league, on many levels, but I still really enjoyed spending time with him: texted him all the time, hung out with him on a regular basis, etc.
6 weeks into our dating, he says he's not ready for a relationship. I'm obviously confused, because HE has been pursuing/wooing ME all this time -- I'm out of his league, remember, so this is SO STUPID of him, since he almost had me -- but I'm okay and we're still as close. Exactly 1 week later he says, "I was so stupid, I know what I want now, I want you." I think about it for a week and tell him for sure I don't want a relationship.
We were still pretty close that week. I saw him a few days after and he's still the same as always, flirty, clingy, "you look so beautiful," etc.
FIVE DAYS LATER: He's official with another girl on facebook, a girl he's been friends with all along.
It was a week before I found out. He wasn't talkative during that week, but not unfriendly.
As soon as I found out, I stopped texting him. It was a d!ck move. Not exactly to me, but definitely to the new girl. She doesn't know me and probably doesn't know he had this two-month-long enrapture with me. And I feel like what we had is just cheapened. I wasn't expecting him to get into a relationship this quickly. Like, we hung out one-on-one a lot and obviously we can't do that anymore. That pisses me off, because we were so close, as friends, and he said he wanted to continue being like that, but now its gone.
Sticky situation is, we're co-workers. I haven't replied to any of his texts and have no desire to. But I'm not sure how to act towards him in work. Pretend nothing happened and be normal?, but I don't think he deserves that. Or just be civil upon contact? Or ignore him?
And why/how do you think he got with that other girl so fast?? I just don't understand. I'm shocked. He was SO into me, he told me so all the time. He said I was the only one who ever made him happy and that he wanted to recreate a world with just me in it. Then... new girl? Wtf???
I miss him as my friend. But I feel like nothing can be the same now. What should I do? :(
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aw :( I'm so sorry, he definitely led you on I've had this happen to me twice before. But that is very smart of you to recognize his true persona and cut off contact.
It seems that although he did express some interest in you, he was uncertain and afraid. Especially since he had bad luck in the past. And because of that he kept you around because he felt "safe" with you (yet at the same time just wasn't that into you, so he checked out this other girl).
He kept you around by making feel great and fantastic about yourself. And like I said he felt safe with you. It's like if this girl had rejected him, then he would just use you as a fall back (which is not fair to you, you should be the only girl in his world.
So what I think you should do, if you are wandering why he did this then confront him and tell him how it made you feel. (only if the thought is annoying you. Otherwise move on, you deserve better.
If it was meant to happen then it would have happened. If a guy truly cares about you he would focus on you and on you only, and would not give up on you, AND is not vague (this is true 'cause I've read stories, and I have my guy who is like this. And at work, just ignore him. Treat him like a stranger, but don't be mean.
And good job for having empathy towards the other girl-you prob are a bit jealous-but you are keeping it classy by not lashing out.
good luck :)
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Rating: 5
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I understand and agree with everything you said. Thanks :)
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