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FemaleLocation:
suburbia.Member Since:
November 29, 2006Answers:
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May 16, 2011Visitors:
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advice
me adn my boy have been together for almost a year. we've done 3 hr long distance for half our relationship due to college. he's a good boyfriend, but he def doesnt know how to be romantic, or do things to show he cares. he hsa only come to visit me 2 times, ive gone home to see him so many times. i have to force him to take off work and plan tocome v isit me, i have to tell him to do certain things like to tell me he loves me and misses me since were doing long distance. when were together in person were perfect. i have 100000% trust for him, and we're best friends. but he doesnt make the efforts. everyone that knows us knows hes a sweet guy just not good with realtionships or expressing himself or being romantic. he was not any different in his other relationships, and its just how hes been from the start.
im not sure what to do... i wonder sometimes if breaking up with him would hit him in the face and realize things, but then again it might not. when we're together we're amazing but thats only once a month for at most a week, he's just not doing good with keeping me happy doing long distance, ive told him, he just doesn't get it.
Do you think you deserve more than that? Once a month? I do. I think any girl deserves more than that.
That said, 3 hours is quite the distance. And college is expensive, so consider if he really, really needs the money from the job - i.e. if his parents aren't backing him up financially.
My boyfriend is exactly the same way - except he has no excuse, he lives 20 minutes away. We only see each other one night a week. Even in the summertime, when we're both off from school. I must note that I'm fighting from typing in the past tense because my intentions are to break up with him in the near future. Its not working. My boyfriend tells me he loves me all the time but he is just not good at expressing his love. He never even calls, unless I prompt it. He's also a sweet guy. But he's just not good at relationships. And its not working.
If it just isn't working, its not worth it. The relationship itself needs to be good, not just the person who you're in it with. If he's not putting in as much effort as you are, you're going to grow agitated with him and become resentful. And it will build up until you just can't stand him. Not now, but soon. Like it did for me. Either address it with him or end the relationship. Its just not worth it hon.
Best wishes, xoxo
(Rating: 5) just an update so i it will hopefully help with your situation too.. he forgot our one year, so i said im done basically. the next day he texted me really late saying hes not ready for commitment. 3 days after not talking at all he texted me and said he didnt mean it that he didnt wanna be with me, then i was telling him how he has to change and how hes made me feel, then hes like well i dont know what i want, so i said ok im done, then he said he was crying (which is crazy cause he never shows any sign of emotion) and said he just doesn't know what he wants and needs time to think and i got the gist that he is scared of commitment and how serious i am, so maybe thats why your mans treating you like that? but now hes all up and down and today hes like can i still come visit you next week at college and i said thats not a good idea, he said oh and got all upset and i said you dont wanna be with me, he said i never said that, i was like well you said you dont know what you want and need time to think.. then he said yeah thats true. he's basically confused right now and so am i. we'll see how this turns out though, i will let you know!