Q: Me: 15/F/soph. Him: 17/M/junior. My ex boyfriend and I have had such a horrible past. And it's made up of three parts: a very destructive/dysfunctional relationship, messy break up, and a very confusing "friendship" that has followed. Starting with the relationship part. He and I have a VERY strong physical attraction. We started off like a perfect couple. Got along, were cute and what not. When we started getting physical things changed. He got mean and hurtful and I became whipped and miserable. We were both miserable bbut he told me he loved me and at that point we had been dating for 6 months. We would fight constantly cause I'd get jealous and clingy and he'd flirt with every girl he saw. But when we hooked up, holy shit you couldn't separate us with a crow bar. He would always pressure me to go farther ehich I wouldn't want to do but with his persuasion (words and ahem... Body) I gave him a hjs and eventually a bj and be fingers me. Keep in mind I was 14 at the time and he was 16. Bad idea to go that far. It only mare our weird relationship weirder. Second part: When we finally broke up he did it in a text, I said "fuck you" he said je only liked me for my body which I guess I kinda knew but I was actually in love with him ... It hurt like hell. That was in may. And through the entire summer I'd say I cried myself to sleep 90% of the time. Somewhere in our dysfunctional relationship I lost myself in him. I didnt know who I was anymore. And he was still a dick!! One day he'd say he couldn't stand me and the next he'd say he regret what he did. It didnt make sense. One day towards the end of summer he tried to apologize.for everything. But I was so hurt... I couldn't accept it. Good thing too. Cause school started an we ignored eachother till about justrecently. He's in my study hall and things are so complicated. He brought up the night he called to apologize. He told me he was playing a video game the whole time and just did it (apologize) to get me to "shut up" even though we hadn't been talking for like a month? He saidsome big things in that conversation. Like that he never wanted to hurt me, didn't like me just cause of the hooking up, that'd he'd handled things wrong and he was sorry. It for some reason kills me that he bullshitted the whole thing. He was treating it like a joke too! He was laughing like it was hilarious that I was crying on one end of phone and he was playing what? Call of duty on the other? HES A DOUCHEBAG right? Well guess what. I still like the asshole. He'll make a lot of jokes now about our relationship like, dirty jokes, bringing up the stuff we did back then. And I don't think he knows that I'm not over him. That I broke up with my last bf cause I couldn't stop thinking about him. That I still love him after all this. And it hurts! Cause he's moved on... He's benn dating this girl (but all his friends say it's gonna fizzle fast. Even her friends say it. He's just confusing me. I want to talk to him about all of this, or at least just the part about how I don't like the jokes but I fe uncomfortable doing that when he's dating someone... I'm SOOOOO lost. Please help! I need to know what I'm feeling what to do and what the he'll is going on in my head!!!!!

Rating: 5

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