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Hi. So I'm just about sixteen and I've been depressed since I was nine years. I was physically, sexually, and verbally abused, and I was also neglected until about eight months ago by my parents. I'm in foster care now, but I still have horrible flashbacks, panic attacks, and am extremely paranoid. I'm still really depressed and want to kill myself. I've been cutting since I was nine years old. I feel like everyone would be much better off if I was dead. I feel like no one gives a damn about me. I just need to know what to do. I really do want to be happy, but I don't know how! help!

I recently lost my older brother to suicide, and i'll tell you right now that leaving that way is not the answer. He thought he wasn't loved and that no one would even notice/care that he was gone. I can't tell you how wrong he was, and i know he's looking down on all of his friends and family wishing he wouldn't have left the way he did. When someone decides to leave this world by choice, it's not like the world just goes on like nothing happend, every single thing changes for everyone who knew that person. I understand where you're coming from regarding feeling like no one cares and that this would be easier, but i'm strongly asking to reconsider. I want you to trust in someone, anyone and let them know what's on your mind. I want you to tell them that you do want to live and be happy, but you don't know how to. People all around you will drop what their doing to help you out in any way they can. I would give my life to make sure my brother knew he wasn't a waste of space, but unfortuantly i didn't find out until it was too late. Don't give up. Life is so damn hard, but just look past all the hurdles and think of all the good you're going to expierence. I really hope you don't do something you regret.

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(Rating: 5) Stella, (I'm guessing thats your name), you don't know how much beter that just made me feel. Thank you so much!
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