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19/f i've been best friends with this girl for 4 years. Ever since she became super religious she would try to get me to go to church with her. And it worked for a while but then i realized that i didn't want to convert to Christianity. We have this other friend who my friend thinks is controlling , but i think she got that from her. Like Whenever my friend of four years wants to hangout she never wants to come over. See we're on winter break and she goes to college away from home. and i am always the one going to her house. We hangout with other people and she's rude to them to. but when we were working out she commented on how bad my shoes were like a million times. i was wearing vans canvas slip ons. then after wards we were buying drinks at the cafe and she wanted me to buy hers and i was like i am paying separate and she made a big deal, but i wouldn't buy it for her because she wouldn't shut up about what i was wearing. but later on we were talking and she was being nice and asking what kind of shoes i wanted from the store to workout in. but before Whenever i went to her house and im just like wtf why are you so rude? but anyways she asked me if i wanted her to do my eyebrows. and im stupid and i let her do it. and then she goes and messes up my eyebrows. i am really sick of her. should i stop being friends with her completely? and find new friends, or should i just hangout with her less? (link)
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So its sounds to me that the issue isn't your controlling friend. She can only be controlling if people let her control them. Instead of worrying about changing her, maybe you need to ask what you can change about yourself. What is it about you that makes others think they can boss you around? What is it about you that makes you feel like you have to give in to the whims of your friend? Confidence is your issue, not your friend. If you can't find a way to stand up to her and assert yourself and what you want every once in a while, you need to end the friendship and move one with your life. Friendships are supposed to HELP, not hurt, so if you're hurting because of your friend, change your ways or get a new friend.
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Rating: 5
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thanks so much! you're so right. i've turned her down today to hangout with her. i know i can't change her but i am not going to let her control me. she asked me to hangout with her tomorrow since she's leaving early friday morning and i said i can't because i am busy. so yeah i've decided to stop hanging out with her because there's no point in hanging out with someone who is controlling and unpleasant. but thanks for the advice, you've helped me become stronger thanks so much! i am so grateful.
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