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I'll try and make a long story short...
Basically a co worker of mine started acting interested in me but i knew he had a girlfriend so I kind of backed off and assumed he'd back off eventually too. We got more serious and i started to really like him. We hangout all the time, he tells me he cares about me , he buys me flowers, takes me out to eat,and is just a guy I really want to be with. He kept breaking up with his girlfriend for me ,but getting back together with her because he's been with her for 4 years... and doesn't want to let her go to waste because he thinks that I may let him down. At first,that was true but now I'm really falling for him and he says he's starting to really have feelings for me too. He tried breaking things off with me ,and later that same night he ended up at my house because we love being together. He says he loves his girlfriend too though and he doesn't lie to me about it,he basically says he wishes she'd mess up so he could have a reason to break up with her to make things less complicated.I know for a fact he hangs out with me a lot more than her and it's getting to the point where I won't just let go,especially knowing that he feels the same way about me. Fortunately, I've never had to go through what he's going through,but I understand how hard it could be having her and then falling for me at the same time. Even when he'd come over ,he'd leave and 5 minutes later tell me he already misses me. I just don't know whether I should keep hanging out with him and let his feelings get stronger for me (because he pretty much told me that would happen if we kept up how we are ) or if I should let him go and see if he chases after me ,and risk my feelings being hurt. We have hooked up lots of times, (not sex) and he's basically treated me like his "other girlfriend" but obviously i don't like this situation. I feel like he wouldn't have cheated on her if he really loved her, but i'm just very confused and I don't want to let him go because he's the best guy I've ever liked and I also work with him...please help! (link)
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there's nothing wrong with liking this guy. But there is something wrong with him for stringing along two girls. If he is really as great as you say, wouldn't he have the balls to be honest with his girl? But instead, he's such a coward he would rather wait for his gf to be the problem, which is totally bs because he wants to blame her for HIS problem (or situation). And how would you feel if you were her and found out your bf knew he cared for someone else but just strung you along and wasted your time just because he was too chicken to tell you the truth? That's totally crappy of him and he is wrong. That being said, I believe that you do like him, and he likes you. That isn't the problem. The problem is that he doesn't respect you. Or his gf, for that matter. Every decision he has made regarding the two of you has been to benefit HIMSELF - switching back and forth b/w the two of you, not telling his gf his feelings are changing, hooking up with you but not respecting you enough to call you his "woman" - its all been about HIM and how HE feels. He doesn't seem to regard your feelings above his own. That's a red flag to me, but not one that can't be overcome. You'll have to force his hand on this one. So tell him you really care for him and want to be his girlfriend, but you're too good to be "the other woman" and you deserve more. Tell him you'll miss him horribly, but until he breaks up with his gf, you will not be seeing him outside of work. It will hurt, but trust me, it is the right thing to do. You do not deserve to be strung along by a guy that's just too yellow-bellied to do the right thing, even though he totally knows what the right thing is. By putting your foot down you'll be proving to him that you're NOT just like every other girl. YOu have standards, and respect for yourself and you're special, and if he wants to be with you, he needs to realize that and treat you like that, because is what you deserve. If this guy cares for you as much as you know he does, I guarantee that if you stick you your guns, he'll come around. And he'll be grateful for a girl who knows her mind and knows how she wants to be treated. Good luck!
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