Wishuponastar13's

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" align=left hspace=10> I mostly prefer to answer questions about relationships whether they are the romantic sort or about friendships, however I also know a lot about books, music and sports. Do not ask me questions about cars or computers as I will most likely refer you to someone else's column. Other than that I love to answer questions and help people. Please rate fairly and honestly. :] Good luck to all you puzzled people out there.

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advice

i'll try to keep this as short as possible. so there is this girl. we met in high school but it wasnt love at first site. in fact, we had hardly spoken to each other throughout high school until my senior year(her junior year) i hit her up on myspace(she didnt go to the same school anymore). we started going out, not as boyfriend and girlfriend but as just friends. slowly but surely we started to grow feelings for each other. after about the fourth outing, she confesses that she was going to be moving from california to georgia for her senior year and college. i know i probably should have broken it off then but i wouldn't let her go.

time passes and she moves to georgia in the summer of 08. we talk everyday. the next year passes(we've both been in and out of a relationship)and she comes back to cali to visit. we go out a couple times and we have a few conflicts and before she leaves, we stop talking. about a month later she texts me and says she doesn't want us to end that way... we start talking again but its not the same, i felt she was different but didnt really say much about it.

another year passes and she visits again. we plan a kinda 'double date' at the beach. the closer the day got til we went, the more she started acting like a butt hole. the day before the trip, i canceled. i didnt want to drive 100 and something miles to get her and another 50 or so miles to the beach then all the way back if she was going to hold an additude the whole time. this lead to a giant arguement which lead up to my saying somthing like "...oh thats nice, i still dont give a ...." which ended the relationship.

i still care about her, i just know that if i hit her up now after the show i gave, im basicly handing over my manhood and i know she's not going to call me. i had decided to just let it go...

seemingly unrelated, a few months later, i quit my job and a joined the army. it so turns out(i swear that this is a coincidence) that my basic training camp is just over a 100 miles from from her school =/

what now??? should i call or leave it alone. and if i do call, what do i say. i've had a feeling on how i would handle this but im curious as to how it may look from the outside.
can you help me???

To be honest, I think you should just leave it alone. From the outside it looks like you two have always had conflicts from the beginning and although it keeps things interesting, it is not a healthy relationship. Even if you get together again it is not like somehow everything will be perfect and you won't break up. It seems that there may be a conflict in communication or just plain difference in personalities. Plus you've joined the army which complicates it even more because you won't stay near her campus forever. If you really want to call her just to clear everything up and get closure, that is fine but I wouldn't look into continuing any flings you had. Also it is extremely important that you said you felt she changed. You could be (and this is a total assumption) holding on to the memories and experiences of her before she changed and when you were closer before she moved. Its hard to let go of someone when you think of how good things use to be because the hope that it will go back to before is so alive. I mean this is form my experience so I'm really not sure if that is a factor at all. Just look at what you miss and why you like her and see if she still possesses those qualities. Also look at when she has been a "butt hole" and basically think whether or not you could ever really have something with her! Good luck! Sorry this is long :/ Hope I helped! x

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(Rating: 5) hit it on the nose, makes perfect sense, thanks alot.

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