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Hey my name is Bethany. I am in college majoring in psychology. Feel free to ask me a question, email, or IM me. I would love to hear from you.

advice

F/16 I have this amazing boyfriend who I've been dating for 2 weeks. I like him, but only when I'm with him. I partially think it's because I'm still hung up on my ex. All I can think about is my ex, and how I want to be with him. Just a few months ago I was with my ex, until some things happened that screwed us up. Now I'm dating this other kid, and he's my first boyfriend since my ex 2 years ago.

I do like my current boyfriend, but when I'm with him and we're alone things are sexual and I don't like that. Whenever I see him in school all I can think about is wanting to be with my ex instead of him. He's such a nice guy, and I do like him, it's just I know I would rather be with my ex and that's all that would make me happy. I sometimes feel if I could just get my ex to actually reject me then I would be able to put my feelings aside and would realize how good I have it now.

I don't want to lose my boyfriend, but I just feel like it's the wrong thing to stay with him while I have such strong feelings for someone else. He knows about my ex, and how I used to feel, I don't know if he's aware I never lost those feelings, but..he knows about him. So it's not like my feelings are a complete secret.

I just don't know what I should do, should I stay with my boyfriend? Try to get back with my ex? Talk to my ex and realize he doesn't want me? Just back off from boys all together until i figure things out? Idk, I just need some sort of help.

First of all, if you are uncomfortable with anything sexual then you need to simply say you are uncomfortable with it. You shouldn't let anything go beyond the boundaries you set for yourself or you will regret it.

As far as only liking your boyfriend, you are recently broken up out of another relationship that obviously meant a lot to. It is dangerous to start dating again so quickly after a big relationship because you are going to transfer feelings you have from the past relationship to the new one.

If you broke up with your ex, I encourage you to remember why and if the things you didn't like aren't fixed then go ahead and move on, there is no point in breaking up and getting back together all of the time, however if they are fixed you can possibly get back with him, just don't make it a habit.

If he broke up with you, you just need to go ahead and move on, and not worry a out if he wants you back or not. If he didn't see what you were worth whe you were with him then he doesn't deserve you.

As far as the guy you are with, if you truly have more feelings for your ex than him, and it's not just hurt pride because you feel rejected by your ex, then you need to go ahead and let him go. It's not fair to him to be with someone who doesn't have their heart into being with him, and he deserves better.

If you choose to break up with your current boyfriend I would recommend staying single for a while. You need to clear your head and be happy with your before you can be happy with anyone else

Good luck

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(Rating: 5) thank you! im not uncomfortable with anything sexual, just too much is no good. and i broke up with my past boyfriend because we were in a mess to begin with...and it ended up badly. but thanks for the advice, it was helpful :)
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