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How would you go about bringing up birth control to a parents who is 100% against sex before marriage? I wouldn't if I didn't have to, but I don't want to worry about getting pregnant.


- help

You *could* tell your mother your periods are very bad - then tell the doctor the same, and they may put you on the pill. But they *might* see right through it, or they might run a bunch of painful medical tests, first. Or they may handle it some other way. Lies that involve your health can backfire terribly.

I notice you didn't mention disease - don't ever forget that. Being on pills will not prevent it, and no matter how well you know or trust the person you are with, there is always the chance they contracted a disease from a blood transfusion when they were a child, or a contaminated cut, or any number of things. I made that mistake - and I completely trusted the person; he had gotten it at a HOSPITAL, and he didn't even know he had it. It can happen to anyone; it's not worth the risk. If the person you are with refuses, then they are not worth it, no matter how much you might want it - it's not worth it. It's a mistake you can't ever take back.

The most honest and safest way is to try to get your parents to come around. First, though, you have to lead up to it - don't just blurt it out. Find articles about young people having SAFE sex, leave them where your parents will find them - next to your backpack or books, or in your room in plain sight, or somewhere they will find them. Say that you found them, or someone was handing them out somewhere, just be vague - don't say anything they can check on. White lies are little lies you tell so you won't hurt someone - and if you tell them straight out why you have it, it will hurt them.

Eventually, once they know you KNOW about it, and once they KNOW you are thinking about safety, and once they GET USED to all of that - you may be able to talk with them about it. You might start out as if you were talking about "a friend" instead of yourself, and work up to it. Above all, think about their feelings - you are their baby, it's horribly painful for them to think of you having sex, it TERRIFIES them. Keep that in mind and don't become angry if they freak out when the subject comes up. If you stay calm and don't yell, they will see you as more mature. If you make sure they know you are thinking about safety first, they will take it better.

When you do talk to them about it, don't tell them you're going to absolutely do it. This is another white lie - they won't ever be comfortable with you having sex; again, you're their baby, their child, and you ALWAYS will be. Don't ever go into details about it, or tell them when or with who or where. Keep it private and if they flat out ask you if you're a virgin - tell the truth - but always keep your temper.

Stay calm, let them shout and lecture if that's what they will do, wait till they get it all out, then quietly and reasonably talk about it. Let them know you care about their feelings and don't want to hurt them, that you are just thinking about it and that just in case - you want to be completely safe.

Hopefully you can get that far with them. It may take a while, but it may work.

The very best idea of all is to not have sex until you are able to get the birth control on your own. That might sound horribly old fashioned and useless - of course you WANT to - but your virginity is the most precious gift you can give to anyone, and you should save it for someone who is special enough and worthy enough - someone who cherishes you so much that they will wait.

Even if you are not a virgin now, if you have sex much before your body is fully developed - and that would be 17 or 18 at the youngest - just having sex at all can be dangerous and lead to problems later. I had to have surgery 4 times because I started having sex too early. :( It wasn't until years later, but now I can't have any more kids.

If you are not ever able to get your parents to come around, try to find another adult you can trust, one that is more open to it. They may be able to help. There are usually clinics you can go to that will provide birth control with no questions asked, also.

The most important thing is to take sex seriously. It should be the most beautiful thing you've ever experienced with a person you love deeply and are committed to, and who cherishes you and appreciates the gift you are bestowing on them. After that - be realistic and protect yourself not just from pregnancy, but from disease. Sex isn't casual, no matter how it seems or what people say, and what you do, you can never take back, so be very very sure, and be very very careful.

Good luck to you and I hope you find an answer that will make you happy and keep you safe!

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(Rating: 5) Thanks, I will think about this before I do anything, because sex isn't casual, and your right maybe I should wait until I can get it on my own so I don't hurt them.
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