I will always give my honest opinion based on how i have or would handle things :) And i am very interested to hear questions about activism at the moment, i do not know anything about activism but would love to do some research with anybody who is willing to confide in me :)
Member Since: August 25, 2010
Answers: 13
Last Update: December 6, 2010
Visitors: 3333
Main Categories:
Love Life
Random Weirdos
Activism
View All
Favorite Columnists
Razhie
|
| |
I'm 20/f, dating a 20/m.
My boyfriend is 6'2" tall, and he's about 210 pounds, which I think is pretty normal. I've never thought he was chubby or even "teddy bear" sized, just that he wasn't exactly thin or scrawny. I know he was a lot heavier when he was younger, but by the time I met him he'd worked a lot of the weight off, so his weight looks to be about average.
Suddenly, in the past two months, he's started talking about how much he HATES the way he looks, how he "better get used to not liking who he is", and how he's upset because "he'll never get to where he wants to be", physically speaking. He joined a gym (I joined with him, because I want to start eating better and excercising), but he's constantly talking about calories and pounds lost ALL THE TIME.
In the one month that we've been going to the gym, he's stopped eating all junk food and candy, and has stopped drinking EVERYTHING except water and skim milk. He's lost almost 20 pounds in the last month, and he's still saying he hates how he looks.
I tell him I love his body and that I'm really attracted to him physically (it's true), but he brushes me off. He calls himself chubby and fat and he gets so upset that he won't even talk to me about it. It's like he refuses to believe me.
Tonight he said he wasn't leaving the gym until he burned 1000 calories, and he keeps saying things like "i'm just going through things" and "I didn't know this would be so hard". I'm REALLY scared.
What can I do? I'm crying just because I'm so scared and worried about his health, safety, and happiness. PLEASE HELP my boyfriend :( (link)
| |
OK so dont tell him you are scared just act calm... buy a few books on it make sure hes doing it the healthy way leave them around. Its good that you are going with him to the gym just support him, make sure he knows that being super skinny is not appealing to any female :) solet him know he might want to TONE his body not burn all the fat,maybe gain some muscles maybe you could encourage him to use a workout dvd and some weights. I dont think men should be under 170 so 30 pounds is as low as he should go, and muscle weights more than fat so it should be fine if he wants to count calories he should go to livestrong.com and go to "my plate" its really good, some things are for members only but im not a member and it has just what i need, Technically sugars and fat have their ultimate effect on the body that are bad and nuts and meat have other effects that are good but if you want to count calories just keep eating what your eating just less////or exercise more. I hope atleast some of this helps, He needs to eventually reach a state where he feels comfortable with how he looks, sometimes my boyfriend will ask me why im working out or on a diet and be like " who are u trying to impress because im happy with how you look" but he doesnt understand that i am doing it so i can feel like im good enough for him. When he says i love you no matter what its like saying " hey i love you even though you are not perfect shape" and it does nothing to stop me lol... i think burning 1000 calories is close to too much though because as a male he should be taking in at least 2000 a day after exercise to be a healthy weightloss so if hes going to be burning 1000 make she he eats about 3000. Good Luck Hun Support him and make sure you keep an eye on him and his weight so you can keep track of these things, be happy for him when he is happy he lost pounds dont worry you will definitely be able to tell when you should worry remember if hes 1.NOT EATING or 2. UNDER 170lbs...there are other things to watch out for but those are key because he cannot be frail and under weight and he cant starve himself ---very bad obviously :) again good luck!
|
|
Rating: 5
| |
thank you for such a detailed answer!
|
|