Name is Megan, I'm 20 years old. I've gone through a lot in my life, and got through so much on my own. It sucked, and I wish I had someone to go to for advice. I like to help others who are in need of advice. I don't think anyone should ever feel alone. I hope to help some of you with the answer's I've giving. I try my hardest.
Gender: Female
Occupation: Student.
Age: 20
Member Since: May 2, 2010
Answers: 102
Last Update: May 29, 2010
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So last year I had my first serious boyfriend, I fell head over hills, lost my virginity, and after a year I realized he wasn't the guy for me and I had made a mistake. I was forced into a lot of things with him. Not physically as much as mentally. He'd guilt trip me, get angry and ignore me, fight with me, say I didn't love him if I didn't do things with him. One time at his friends house he locked me in the bathroom with him until I did stuff with him. I started crying so he let me out but refused to talk to me the rest of the night. So, I broke up with him a few months ago. I recently started dating this guy, he's been my best friend since eighth grade. I'm a junior he's a senior. I really like him and he respects me and treats me right. He doesn't force me into doing things I don't wanna do.
If I feel uncomfortable he won't make me do things.
So anyway. I have been dating him since March we have done somethings but not sex. Well recently I've been thinking about maybe in the distant future having sex with him. I thought about it for a while. I started crying, I feel so traumatized I feel like if I have sex he's going to end up like my ex. I feel afraid to do it again, I'm scared that things will end badly and that I'll end up regretting it because things were so terrible, I felt obligated and guilty in my last relationship. My boyfriend says I shouldn't feel like I have to do anything I don't want to. But, I don't know, why do I feel so traumatized from this? Is this normal? Like I feel so depressed about it, I feel traumatized and I don't want to effect what happened in my last relationship to effect what happens in my new one. I really like him and I don't know what I should do really, what should I do? Should I tell him? Is there anyway I can get rid of this feeling? (link)
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Yes it is normal!
You were abused mentally and it seems like physically from that last guy. The feelings you are feeling right now are NORMAL.
Take your time. Have sex when YOU are physically and mentally ready. Your boyfriend now seems like a good guy, and doesn't seem like he's trying to push anything.
You can't really get rid of the feeling. It will ease in time though. Go on with your life, don't even think about sex, when the right time comes around, you'll know.
As of, telling your boyfriend now. I mean, You can, and it might help him understand more, or you don't have too. Is he asking you to have sex or wanting to? If not, then you don't have to tell him, but if you think it might help you feel better about all this you should.
Good luck!
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Rating: 5
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I haven't really talked to him about it, he says we don't have to and I know I have that choice.
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