about

HEYYY :D i'm in college and i'm a psychology major. i've had many experiences with boyfriends, crushes, friends and family. i know quite alot about sex and sex related issues, so feel free to ask me anything about that! i will be completely honest because i would want the same in return.

if you drop one in my inbox, please try to be as detailed as possible (like your age & gender) so i can be as helpful as possible :D

advice

Hey there.. okay so I saw you featured and I thought id ask you something as well I don't really wanna post it publicly! I hope you dont mind.
Okay so Im 16/f almost 17 my boyfriends 17.
weve been together 7months and decided we wanted to have sex..
so ive two problems really..
the first time we did it I dont really count as we stopped because we thought someone would walk in (he was sleeping over at my house) and also because the condom wouldnt stay on?it kept like slipping?so obviously I didnt want to continue..do you know why that is I mean are we putting it on right or what?

so last weekend we decided to try again no one was home and it felt more the right time initially the condom stayed on which was fine but heres my second problem.(this is kinda embarassing)
it doesnt feel like anything?!it doesnt hurt or feel plessurable..is this cos im just getting started?Like I feel like theres something seriously wrong with me..it doesnt feel like anything when he fingers me either I prefer to be like rubbed towards the top..even then I find I dont exactly cum I just get an intense feeling over my body.
When he goes down on me nothing! what the hell is wrong with me?is it me my boyfriend or what?its seriously frustrating will I ever be able to enjoy sex? have you had any similar experiences?
so yea theres my two problems :(
Id really apreciate any advicethank you!
x

I can understand your frustration. And yes, this has happened to me and I figured out what the problem was.. the problem in my situation was I was not comfortable having sex with the person and didn't feel it was right, etc.

Sex is supposed to be fun, but also serious, so it should be able to be talked about openly with your partner. I don't think it's embarassing AT ALL. Friends have told me the same thing, and it has all worked out. It's a combination of the right person, the right positions, just the all around right situation.

I would deff make sure the condom is on correctly though, make sure it goes alllllll way on first. Is it both of your first times? Because if it is, that could be the big main factor in why. The inexperience of both of you can combine and not make sex pleasurable because you're both trying to figure it out (guys are more easily pleasured PSH!)

If you know what makes you feel all hot and bothered, tell him, I'm sure he'd do it gladly. Guys love hearing what you like sexually. You WILL enjoy sex. Make sure you are completely sure about your boyfriend being the guy, and make sure when you are doing it, you feel comfortable and you're not stressing about a million diff things. Stress can deff harm or ruin a sexual experience. Relax and take things slow. Try different positions and see what you like (and maybe what he likes!). I can't say enough about relaxing, and not tensing your muscles and having your mind race. Focus on the moment. Again, figure out your body and all that you like.. and let him do it to you. Sex consists of two people, so let him in on what you're feeling and thinking. Everything will work out.

[view]

(Rating: 5) Aw thank you so much :) Yes it is both our first time :) heh so its a little awkward but you made alot of sense i feel reasured now thanks alot :)
-Jess
<<< Previous Advice Column
Next Advice Column >>>
humorist-workshop
eXTReMe Tracker