Member Since: November 14, 2009
Answers: 84
Last Update: February 7, 2010
Visitors: 4510
|
| |
15/f
(Sorry, it's long. The last paragraph has the actual question--the first paragraph is just the backround story)
Okay, I know I'm kind of young to be saying this but about two years ago I fell in love. Not teenage girl crush type of love, the real love. I fell in love with my best friend. We were friends since I was nine and he was ten. When I turned 13 we started growing feelings towards each other. Last year, on my 14th birthday, he asked me to be his g/f and, of course, I was ecstatic and said yes. We fell in love. I couldn't go one day (literally) without hearing his voice. He was my whole life. He was everything too me. I knew he was the one, there was (is) no life or happiness without him. Last year on the first day of summer, he gave me a promise ring and told me that no matter what I would be his love. I was so happy with him. I felt like my life was complete before it even started. I turned 15 and things were going great until he told me he was moving to new york. I couldn't stop crying. Every second I could spend with him was precious. Finally, he moved and I felt like my life was temporarily over (I knew he would come back for me someday). On september 22 I got a really sweet email. I had to leave so I didn't have time to reply. The next night, I went back to my emailing list to reply when I saw an email from his brother. I opened it first.
He died, Sep. 23 at approximatly 9:23 PM. It felt like my heart stopped beating. I thought Every one told me things would get better, time heals everything. Things have gotten better, externally. But internally, it finds worse every second without him. Like I'm falling and every one that's around me is just watching. I don't know what to do. I've been on a few dates but there is no guy that I am attracted to. It's not that they aren't attractive, but they aren't him. What do I do? I don't want to tell anyone because I don't want to stop hurting emotionally--the pain is the only thing I have left--but I want to be able to like a guy or even just form some kind of relationship with a guy. Can anyone please help me? (link)
| |
Oh my gosh I'm so sorry about your loss :( !!! I understand how you feel and it's really hard to let go of the one you really love. Since it's so sudden, just give yourself sometime off from dating until your ready again. Your bf wouldn't want you to live a very miserable life. He would want you to move on and find your happiness because that is all that matters now for you and him. He still proud of you because you were a really great person to him in life. Maybe you're just not ready yet because that news is too sudden. Just give yourself time to enjoy your surroundings and bring yourself back up because your boyfriend would be very proud of you. Again, I am really sorry for your loss!!!
|
|