About Damian
Me? I'm positive, confident, ambitious, driven, quick-witted, charismatic, wild, fun, unpredictable, spontaneous, everything that I want to be. I simply love life too much to not care.
You'll find that I can understand your perspective, and I always fully explain things to my capability. I hope that everything comes out for the best, but i prepare for everything.
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Gender: Male
Location: CA, US
Age: 20
Member Since: September 2, 2006
Answers: 55
Last Update: November 4, 2009
Visitors: 4714
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I am 18 years old currently seeing a man for about 3 months now. Nothing has been made official, and i'd like to make it that way.. Problem: His last girlfriend of two years left him so "emotionally damaged" he says he'll never be as happy with me as he was with her. He's afraid to get into a realtionship, obviously. I can't just leave him because i've never felt this way about anyone before. If anyone has any advice or wants to know more, let me know, Thanks!
I understand exactly where you're coming from. On the emotional side, you really feel good when you're around this person, and you're willing to do so much for them. But on the other hand, your rational side tells you that things aren't exactly perfect. I've found that almost all relationship issues happen when there's a conflict between the brain and the heart.
Now, the "logical" thing to do is to see that this relationship is not official, as you've said. In fact, from what I can see, there is no actual relationship because this guy is afraid to get into one. You do have to think about what this means for him and you for a bit. Could it be that he's just using you as a rebound? Maybe he's serious, but he cares about you enough to not hurt your feelings about it.
Now, what your heart says is also quite important. You feel warm and fuzzy when you're with him, and it's a very strong feeling. You've gotten a little attached to him and you like the good emotions that bubble up because of that. However, on his side, you have to ask the question: Does he like me enough?
Does he like you enough to get over his past?
Does he like you enough to commit to you?
Does he like you enough to consider your feelings in the matter?
Keep in mind, I can't say which one should trump: Logic or Emotion, because as with anybody who has ever felt the tides of romance, feelings are just as important. Now, I can only hope that you step back from this situation long enough to get a realization of what this guy is planning to do. I know you've never felt this way about a person before, but I guarantee you that it will not be the LAST time.
As for what to do, the simple answer would be to just leave him if he doesn't value you enough to treat you right. Believe me, you can find somebody who will care for you and commit to you. However, I know that you have this emotional impetus to keep feeling this good feeling because it MIGHT work out. Don't give up your good hopes. If things work out between you two, absolutely awesome. On the other hand, be prepared for the chance that it may not.
I do hope you find somebody right for you, though...and good luck! ^_^
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Thanks for everything, i really appreciate it.
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