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Q: Okay so I'm a 15 year old girl and yeah, here's the thing. So there was this one guy I liked who I hung out with who seemed really sweet and we had been friends for like a year. Anyway, while we were chilling we started to make out. He started taking it too far and when I told him to stop, he didn't. I tried to get away from him, but I couldn't. I mean, I was physically not able to. He completely overpowered me and I got really scared! He wouldn't let go off me and he wouldn't listen when I told him to stop. Then I yelled. Of course, after he saw that I was serious he stopped and apologized. I don't think he meant to do anthing, but still, I was REALLY freaked out. I never want to feel that helpless and weak again, and it really makes me sad for girls who have been raped. Because if I'm feeling this bad from that, I can't even imagine what they're going through.
I'd just like to add that I'm in shape, and I'm strong and stuff, but I'm a fairly small girl, and I just can't change that. Also, I have taken self defesne classes which I thought would come in handy, but they didn't. At least not in this case. And the reason I take care of myself and took those classes is because I HATE that feeling I got when that boy did that to me. I hate feeling weak.
Anyway, the problem I'm having now is that I'm really scared around guys that are like bigger than me. I just look at them and I think 'He could do anything he wanted to me and I wouldn't be able to do anything about it'. I even think these things about my guy friends that I've known forever. It's almost like trust issues? But it's also this pissed off feeling I get when I think about all those guys who take advantage of girls like that one boy could have done with me. It really makes me angry. What goes through those guys's minds? Why do they do that? I mean, I know they just want pleasure, but they have to know that they are hurting those girls in ways that aren't just physical don't they? Like why would you do that to a girl? Aren't guys supposed to use their strength to protect us? If someone could answer those questions, that would be great, because at the moment I am just so mad.
Thanks!
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Well, I can understand the trust issues you are having..what he did was horrible. Eventually the trust will build back up. I'll answer your questions to the best of my ability.
What goes through there minds and why do they do it?: It can be anything from sexual desires to just wanting to hurt females. Sometimes, especially if the boy had a bad childhood due to his mom, the boy will grow up and treat women badly (abusing, raping, etc.) Same thing goes for boys who may have been molested at a young age. If they don't seek help..it follows them through adult life and they end up raping someone themselves. Some just hate women overall and want to hurt them. However, all they want to do is have power over the victim in any situation. It's sick..but, that's usually the case.
Are they aware they are hurting the girls they rape?: In most cases, they are. Some do it because it turns them on to see a woman frightened and hurting (which disgusts me). However, sometimes they aren't aware. For instance, the guy who wouldn't get off of you even when you told him to stop, probably wasn't thinking "I'm going to rape her". He just wanted pleasure..and tried ignoring you when you said no. Again, it's also a control thing. Maybe he liked the control he had? I understand that it's hard to get some guy's off of you..but, it is good that you screamed. That got the message right through his messed up head.
Here's a link from yahoo talking about it more:
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20090415181019AAohd5i
I don't know how girls who get raped deal with it. You have the right to be angry. It's understandable. You felt powerless against him and now you're mad because you wish you could've stopped him by physically doing something. My advice: Stay away from him. He needs help. TELL PARENTS. Thank god he stopped though. If it still does bother you about what happend..talk to a therapist? I know, it may sound stupid. But, it helps. This guy is lucky you didn't call the cops. Technically, this could be considered "attempted rape". Please, tell someone of this. Hopefully, he won't be doing this to any other females. Telling someone may help stop him from ever doing it to another girl?
Hope I helped.
If you have anymore questions..feel free to inbox me!
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thank you so much, you really helped me see it better. ha. im still mad tho.
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bio
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Hi :)
I haven't been on much lately, but I'll try as much as possible.
I've always been good with giving advice.
I just enjoy helping others!
NO question is stupid to me.
I'm very honest and I answer any category!
Don't be shy; feel free to inbox me with any questions you need answered. :)
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Info
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Gender: Female Age: 20 Member Since: June 24, 2009 Answers: 210 Last Update: September 7, 2010 Visitors: 13609
Main Categories:
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