Hi. I'm Tandra. I'm 20 years old and I live in Hawaii. I love helping people and giving advice. I'm told I'm very good at it. I hope thats true :p. I am always willing to listen to any type of problem and I will do whatever I can to help. I really dont judge anyone no matter how "weird" or "bizzare" something may seem. I try to relate to the problem and put myself in your shoes so I can give the best advice possible. Let me know if there is anything I can do to help you.
Help me, help you! I love feedback. :)
Gender: Female
Location: Hawaii
Age: 20
Member Since: June 27, 2009
Answers: 18
Last Update: January 25, 2010
Visitors: 1529
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17/f
I was talking to a friend about my plans for university and future career in general. Granted I know things change, so I might not follow through with them 100%, but still: I had mapped out a scenario involving which major, which university, how I would finance it, volunteer work I was planning on doing, where I would live, where I would apply after completing my degree, (assuming everything went according to plan) etc... It was fairly extensive/detailed and she was the first one I had told about it. Anyways, I find out later that after talking to me she posted a note on Facebook with my plan word for word, saying that this was what she was planning on doing with her life. I know it sounds a bit infantile, but this pissed me off immensely. There's no way that this could be considered a coincidence at all. And, we do share some interests so it would make sense if we were to pick the same/similar majors, even the same university. The thing is though, her plan was exactly the same as mine, even down to the tiniest idiosyncratic detail (which make no sense coming from her). I know, I know, I'm still young and I don't know what to do with my life yadayadayada, so this plan might not work out and so there's no point overreacting.
I really feel like I should confront her about it. Am I overreacting? I feel like I might be blowing this out of proportion, but this isn't the first time I've told her something and she's done something similar(not to sound conceited or like a 5 year old, but she has a tendency to copy what I do, which really irritates me sometimes). Ok, my attempt at not sounding conceited failed, but you guys get what I mean right?
Should I just blow it off as a coincidence? What do you guys think? I feel terrible about being irritated with her over something like this.
Thanks for your time
(Sorry about the length!) (link)
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Hey. First off I think it is awesome that you made a detailed temporary map of your life. I wish I had done that when I was 17. I say you should stick to it. If your dreams and goals You are on there I say go for it and dont take any crap about it. Your never too young to be thinking of that especially at 17 when your life is just about to begin. And if you need to make some adjustments along the way, great! :) Anyway, You are definetly not blowing this out of proportion or overreacting and you have every right to feel angry and irritated. I know I would. One thing you could do is casually confront her. Say something like "So I noticed your note on your facebook and your future plans look a lot like mine." Then go from there. Or you could confront her straight up. Dont be rude though. Say something like "I dont want to argue but this is how I feel" or "I feel bad for feeling this way." It was wrong of her to do that to you but also keep in mind that this is YOUR life that you mapped out and these are YOUR hopes and dreams not hers. She's not likely going to follow this plan. But I understand that doesn't change things or justify it. She may be jealous that you know what you want to do with your life when its possible she doesn't. And maybe she copies you with other things because she doesn't really know what she likes or what her own hobbies and interests are. Maybe you could talk to her and help her create her own map. Help her figure out things she wants to do, help her find new interests. She may not know whats out there. But whatever you end up doing you should at least try talking to her. I hope this helps. Good Luck.
Love, Tandra
ps. How am I doing? If you would like, I would appreciate feedback. I am new to the site. Thanks. :)
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Rating: 5
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Thank you, I'll try talking to her about it.
Your response was very helpful :)
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