Member Since: April 28, 2009
Answers: 13
Last Update: September 20, 2012
Visitors: 1420
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When I was 6 my older brother accidently shot his wife, and then he committed suicide. My dad was effected so much by his loss that he started drinking, and ran out of control and became an alcoholic. Soon after, my parent's divorced and my dad moved away. In August of 2005, hurricane Katrina hit my house in New Orleans and almost destroyed everything. My dad quit drinking and moved back to New Orleans and helped my mom rebuild our house that September. My parents fell inlove and my dad didn't touch a drink. Two months later, he got very sick and he went to the doctor and we found out he has very bad liver cancer. My dad died April 1, 2006. I was just in 6th grade. I developed bad self esteem issues.
April 2008: I had devolped a lot for my age, I looked so much older. I started hanging out with older friends and got myself in a lot of trouble. I started drinking and smoking weed every weekend. One night in April I snuck out of my house with a boy that called me and told me he was by my house. I needed a cigarette really bad and my mom refused to buy me any, and I was punished so this was the only way I could get one for a couple days. I figured it was worth it. I snuck out and we went behind a school down the street. He started to kiss me and we made out, and then he kept trying to take off my pants. ( I think he was 16 and I was 14. ) I kept moving his hands so he would stop but he wouldn't, so I stopped kissing him and pushed him away because I thought he was using too much force on me. Then he held me down against the wall and pulled my shorts and panties off of me. I was so shocked. I was a virgin. He let go of me and I had the worst feeling I just knew something was going to happen. He pulled out a condom and a knife. He didn't do anything with the knife but he like showed it to me. I let him have sex with me. I was crying the whole time. He raped me. I told him no over and over again and he wouldn't listen to me. I was raped.
May 2008: I was talking to a boy before the rape and I really liked him. We started dating and he was my everything. He was mean to me like my dad was but I don't know, something about it made me like it because he was just not letting me fuck up and get so drunk and mess up and stuff. He cared a lot about me and I let him have sex with me. After we had been dating for a while, I told him about the rape. He helped me through EVERYTHING. He told my mom, which I got really mad about, but he just wanted to do the best thing he could do. I had to talk to millions of people about the rape and I was video recorded, had to explain the rape in EVERY DETAIL, photos were were taken, and my body was inspected head to toe. That made my rape even worse. The cops and doctors treated me like I was the criminal.
August 2008: The boy that I had was at a party and got drunk and made out with his ex girlfriend. We broke up. It was the most devestating thing that EVER happened. I still cry my heart out.
September 2008: I found out the boy I had just broken up with got a new girlfriend. I took 12 asprin to just make me feel "better" and I told my friend and she freaked out and made me go to the emergency room. I told the people in the emergency room about how I just didn't feel good, and they claimed I was trying to kill myself.
They made me go to a mental hospital. IT was the scariest thing I've ever had been to. They FORCED ME there for two weeks, my mom was not allowed to get me out. Our insurance doesn't cover much mental health and they took like ALL of our money. They held me just for the money. I DIDNT EVEN TRY TO KILL MYSELF. I WAS JUST UPSET AND THOUGHT IT WOULD PUT ME IN A BETTER MOOD.
November 2008: My mom would not let me out her site after everything we went through. The first night she let me sleep out, me and my friend went out and got drunk. I drank too much not realizing and ended up in the alcohol level of 0.47 and that was after I threw my heart up. They thought about sending me back to the mental hospital but THANK GOD THEY DIDN'T.
January 2009: A girl that is friend with my rapist (he coudln't go to jail because of lack of evidence :( ) claimed I was LYING about being raped. She got me so upset and so embarassed. She came up to my face and claimed if I really did get raped then I would throw a punch at her. She was being really loud and I couldn't take it and I hit her. She got me arrested and pressed charges. It was all part of her plan to get back at me. I WENT TO JAIL. THEY HELD ME LIKE A CRIMINAL
I got kicked out my catholic school. It was the same highschool my mom went to and it was her dream that I went there but when I got kicked out I got her SOOOO DISSAPPOINTED. I MESSED UP EVERYTHING. I JUST WANTED TO DO WHATS BEST.
Now we don't have much money anymore. The boy who raped me never stepped a foot in jail, but I DID. Only one income. No dad, no brother. My mom does not trust me. I have been through hell and back and I still miss my ex who helped me through everything. He's with his girlfriend still and I wish I could let him know how much he meant to me.
What can I do? I'm just 15 years old and I'm lost. I had talking about my problems to therepist because I JUST RELIVE THE EXPIRENCES EVERY TIME.
sorry for the grammer, i'm just too upset to even go check on that stuff :(
THERES NOTHING I CAN DO
I still have dreams about that mental hospital too. it ruined my life. The rapist ruined it. The girl ruined it. My ex ruined it. Why do I not have any control?
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Ok im just a 13 year old guy and i dont really have much to say , but your life as a kid was just wayy over what you shouldve saw. I mean, i know people who smoke weed and say its ok and that i should try it and of course i say no. My dad was a heavy alchoholic and i was always forced to take care of my brother while
my mom was at work. I always would take my anger out by taking his beer bottles and smashing them on the ground. I think that maybe you strted hanging out with older people becuase you wanted to get away. i would like seriously reccomend finding another boyfriend, one that will stay with you forever. Also i hope that you stopped smokong weed and drinking, im telling you its gonna be horrible in the future. When someday you have kids , you could be a heavy alchoholic , like my dad, and force your husband to leave you. Thats exactly what happened to me with my dad the alchoholic. And about the incedent when the girl wanted you to say the rape was true and you could punch her, i think that she was provoking you all the way to do it. I honestly think she deserved it and that you shouldnt be the one who gets in trouble. As i said already, im only 13. I really hope you find someone that you can be with, and can help you get through this.
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Rating: 5
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Thank you I think this was pretty good advice.
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