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22Member Since:
May 8, 2004Answers:
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March 7, 2014Visitors:
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Facts About Me :)>> Born and raised in Brooklyn, NY but now residing in Pennsylvania
>> 22 years of age and in college. Graduated with an Associate's Degree in Medical Administration, now working with a laboratory as a jack of all trades customer service rep, hoping to pursue a higher degree in the healthcare field.
>> Taken since 11.25.07
>> Have been on this site since I was in 7th grade. You do the math lol
>> Very open minded so don't be afraid to contact me for advice
>> Feel free to look around :)
advice
ok well this is embarassing and actually bothering me for a very long time....to start with i am a 27 year old female, before i got married i was a virgin...and guess what...i got married in august of 08...and still am a virgin! well as much as it sounds crazy and funny...this is driving my husband and my relationship downfall...i am basically scared to have sex...we have attempted several times...but everytime the poor man tries to put it in...i back off thinking its going to hurt...its been eight months now...and my husband's just a very understanding patient man...or else i feel if it were anyone else he would have cheated on his wife by now...my mom, my sister my close friends that i have shared it with...all have yelled at me about it...i am starting to hate the fact that i cant get this fear out of me...i mean come on i thought sex was suppose to be fun...and i also know it keeps a married relationship good...but thats missing in my married life..and i have to do something about it...please help!
Hi :]
I agree with all my fellow advicenators.. It will hurt.. The first couple of times, it might not feel the best... but practice makes perfect, hence, with time it feels better. Behind this fear.. something must be triggering it.. I would recommend looking back at life to see what might be causing this fear. has anyone ever tried to do something sexual without your consent when you were younger? If and when you do find this hidden trigger, perhaps get a good listener and talk to them... psychologist or counselor can help too.. Something must be causing this fear though, with every fear there is a reason! Now, think about this too... Is there any foreplay involved when you guys try to initiate sex? That's one way to relax.. foreplay is a MUST if he wants BOTH of you guys to be relaxed and to enjoy... So if you guys aren't incorporating it in, try and see what happens.. That's the most advice I can give.. foreplay (as much time as possible) and look back to see what may be triggering this fear of sex. Good luck hun, and no worries, its common among us females :]
-Uniq
(Rating: 5) thanks so much uniq for your awesome advice...im going to just go for it...its ridiculous for me to be so hesitant...but you know you are sooooo right about the foreplay part...omg! lol....well i guess i should try to make a more romantic environment so we dont just jump into it...and we go slow...thanks again...