my name is mel
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Member Since: May 29, 2007
Answers: 33
Last Update: June 16, 2009
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17.
male.
this is long; forgive me.
so.
i started dating my current girlfriend, julia, back in september. a month later, i went to six flags with a bunch of my guy friends, a bunch of her girl friends, but not her; she had to work. one of her friends, emily, was very obviously flirting with me, and i told everyone that i was not flirting back.
emily and i were talking on facebook the other day. she told me that she had been purposefully flirting with me back then and that she had feelings for me.
remember how i said that i didn't flirt back?
i did.
and i know; it was wrong.
back then, i legitimately thought that i should have waited on asking julia out - it had only been a week since i even met her when i did - and maybe given emily a bigger chance. i told myself that maybe that would have been the right thing to do. but i gave it some time, and then i fell in love with julia, and we're still dating.
however, what i feel right now is tearing me apart. emily told me she still has feelings for me, and i honestly wish i could say i didn't feel the same way; we've spent a ton of time together and, although she says we're just "best friends," i feel like she keeps trying to be more than that.
let me clear this up:
i would NEVER cheat.
i could never do that to my girls.
but i have no idea what i should do.
julia and i are really close, and i truly do love her; she's fun, hilarious, beautiful, and everything else that makes a girl perfect. but emily has totally slid into my life and made me wonder if julia and i are right for each other.
thanks for reading/advising/etc. (link)
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Sorry you have to go through this situation. I have too. First, I would make sure that you aren't interested in Emily for the wrong reasons- you wouldn't want to regret anything (plus, the grass isn't always greener on the other side). If you're truly in love with Julia, I would wait a couple more weeks and see how you feel then. Also consider these: one, why are you doubting if Julia is the best girl for you right now, and two, what do you see in Emily that's drawing you to her? As much as I wish I could give you an answer, you really have to consider these things. Maybe if you are really skeptical about your current situation, you should try Emily. But also remember that some girls may not be ok with dating their friend's ex.
What I always do is go with my gut. Sometimes, you have to take chances to get an even greater reward. Figure out if she's worth losing Julia and all you've gained with her since September. But if you're unhappy for any reason, I would end it. It's not worth going through life unhappy. But if you do, try to remember the good times you had with Julia and reflect kindly on the past.
Anyway, I wish you the best of luck.
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Rating: 5
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thanks kate.
i know you hate me and would rather never talk to me again, but you just saved my relationship.
just so you know.
and by the way; this is what i went through with you. with no one to talk to about it i picked the wrong choice; you're helping me to do better this time around.
peace and love
collin
p.s. i'm gonna bet you knew this was me; maybe not, because i rounded the age up. but maybe you did.
p.p.s. i wish you the best of luck with your new boyfriend (george told me). he's a lucky man.
p.p.p.s. feel free to facebook me/email me. i'm sure you still have my email address.
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