I am a wife and a mother of three grown sons. I live in New York and am an equestrian. Most of my free time is spent riding and caring for my horses now that my sons are out of the house.
I give down to earth advice, as I tell it like I see it...and I've seen alot.
Gender: Female
Location: New York
Member Since: January 17, 2009
Answers: 281
Last Update: September 11, 2011
Visitors: 19480
|
| |
my friend has been with her bf for like 4 monthes now and he pretty much rapped her. she was broken in a million pieces and i was the only one there for her. it was horrible it hurt me to see her go through all the pain!
to make it worse she went back to him! cos he didnt want to be alone... shes 18 and works full time, shes not that close with her mum or her sister and she told me if she broke up with him that would make her feel lost and empty.
i told her how i felt and that i dont trust him anymore and dont want to see him. she understood why. i cant get how she just forgave him like that! i hate him for hurting her it still makes me cry cos of how broken he made her.
at 12am last night i got a msg from her saying "can i come over sorry if i woke you=[" i didnt get it til the morning and then i msg'ed and ask why she said she wasnt going to stay at her bfs house for a week... im so scared he did it again... what do i do? i cant bare to see her sad again it hurt so much and iv already told her she should brake up with him but she wont listen.
what do i do??? (link)
|
By "rapped" I am assuming you mean "raped".
There's not much you can do except talk to her and try to convince her that this guy is very bad news and DANGEROUS. This is a classical abuse situation and he has alot of pent up rage. Really...your girlfriend needs psychological counseling. If she could get counseling now, while she's young, she be a world ahead of the game. Rape is a crime motivated by violence, not, as many people believe, motivated by sex. Eventually, he will be smacking her around. If she tolerates this, she will have to tolerate alot more. People who stay in abusive relationships have very low self esteem and other issues that go back to childhood. Same with her boyfriend. He's acting out. Abusers and the abused always seem to seek each other out. Mark my words, unless she gets help, she will find another abuser to hook up with and the cycle will remain unbroken.
I know it hurts to see this happening, but you can't do much about it. Just encourage her to leave him. She doesn't feel that she deserves better treatment. So sad. Perhaps you could scare her to her senses by telling her the next step is that he uses her as a punching bag!
RE: You don't have to give up your friendship with her, just let her know how you see her situation and then let it go. You can't do anything but encourage her to stay away from him.
|
|
Rating: 5
|
thanks.. iv tried to talk to her about leaving him and i keep telling her it will happen again, that she can find someone better cos he doesnt deserve her. but she wont listen to me or to anyone.
shes my best friend and everyone keeps telling me to say to her that i cant stand back and see her get hurt and for her to choose between me or him... but i just cant do it!!! im not that sort of person and i dont want to lose her. my sister talked to her about it and she said that if i did say that, my friend wud probably choose him over me...
i dont know what to do, its happened twice now and its just going to keep happening! each time i pick up the pieces and it hurts mee too much to see her like that, wat should i do? should i tell her to choose between me and him.. or just leave it??? =s
|
|