Gender: Male
Member Since: November 18, 2007
Answers: 170
Last Update: February 13, 2014
Visitors: 12618
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I'm 18/f, and I'm currently being pursued by my friend, let's call him Mike. I used to be head over heels for Mike, and about a year ago we hooked up once or twice. But then we drifted apart. Now he and I are hanging out a lot, and he keeps telling me how amazing and beautiful and smart he thinks i am.. and it's flattering and I really like, him.. except he's 25 years old, and that difference makes me feel uncomfortable.
When we hung out last he tried to kiss me, and I told him that I wasn't ready because I had just gotten out of a really bad relationship (that's true). I've kind of sworn off relationships, especially physical relationships. I'm not interested in sex anymore. He said he understood and he felt pretty bad, but I told him we could still be friends, and he said he was okay with that.
He still calls me every night and praises me constantly, telling me how much he likes me, asking when I'm free to hang out.. and I DO want to hang out with him, because he's a great friend, but I don't want to lead him on and make him think I want to date or get involved with him again.
What's the best way to handle this situation? I've already spoken about it to him honestly, and I don't want to start blowing him off or avoiding him.. help! Thank you!!
-YoungAndCelibate (link)
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if you absolutely aren't ready for anything now or in the future with this guy, you need to sit him down and have a long talk and be clear and set ground rules. there must be lines drawn. in a way though, it does sound like you would like him if his age magically was like 21. i don't know how your relationship is with the guy. but great connections are few and far between in life. it really isn't that big of an age difference. you're both adults. if you fooled around with him, you're somewhat attracted to him. if you think of him as this great friend then you like his personality. in a lot of ways, it seems like he offers you much of what you want or need. if you're with him and you often forget for a moment that he has a few years on you, then you are probably just thinking too much. if it's flashing in your mind and really getting to you then yes you have to stay only friends.
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Rating: 5
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Thank you :) You really help put some of this stuff into perspective :)
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