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Q: i have this friend. She is so competitive. and she claims to be my best friend. So when i get something new, she has to get it, but in a better brand or more expensive to make me feel bad. example would be like; i just got a phone. a week later, she finally got a phone, but more expensive. then when i got a computer, she got one after, but in a better brand. I don't know why she does it but it is getting on my last nerve. Then when I come up with ideas, she steals them and make them into her own. for example. Our whole group of friends hasn't hung out in a while, and i was saying how it would be tight to have everyone get together at a sleep over and just chil. She went off and told all of them as if it were her idea. And it is so frustrating. She also tried to steal my boyfriend. I ended up having to brake up with him because of whole lotta drama. I have slowly separated myself from her. She asked me if we were still best friends, and I said no. And she was begging for best friend status. But I said no. And I have stopped telling her everything, and calling her. I just listen, because I will always be there for her, i have never betrayed her. I helped her lose weight, and told her when people were talking ish about her. But with all that, she repaid me with all that. I want to separate myself from her to the fullest. Do you guys have eny ideas? what do you think about the whole situation?
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Based on what you have written, it seems that she is suffering from some inadequecy issues. She doesn't feel that she measures up to you so she feels a constant need to compete with you. She may also have some low self-esteem which would make things worse. I honestly don't think that she knows how to be a friend to you. It sounds like she idolizes you but has a lot of jealousy to go with it. Anyone that tries to mess with your boyfriend or cause conflict in your love life, is NOT your friend. She might like you, but just can't get control of her envy. I hate to say it, but that is someone who you will need to let go. Right now she can do minor things, but down the line life will only become more competitive and it will be her causing problems with your husband, your house, kids, career etc. You really have to protect yourself from people like her. You have done the right thing by staying clear of her and not telling her your secrets anymore. I'm sure you have other friends that are genuine so you don't need to worry about her. Keep people around you that wish you well and congratulate you, anyone who can't do that is not worthy of being in your circle. Your real friends will be happy for you as you would them and you will all want the best for eachother.
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thank you so much.this makes a lot of sense. I have put her out of my sight to that point where I only listen to what she has to say about things going on in her life. She is a mental case, but wutevr, I'm doing the right thing. Thank You so much!
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bio
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I believe in telling the truth, so I will be honest with you. I also believe that when it comes to respect...reciprocity is key!
Any question that rests on your head is one worth asking.
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Info
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Gender: Female Member Since: September 15, 2008 Answers: 113 Last Update: September 9, 2010 Visitors: 10747
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