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As you can see from my ratings I give GREAT advice not meaning to sound cocky lol :) but I specialize in ANY relationship related problems, so send me a question. I reject questions that do not ask for advice but more for sympathy, so try and keep your questions strictly professional. You'd be lucky to run across me answering one of your questions. I would really appreciate it that at the end of every answer I give that you give me feedback so I can know if I helped you or not.




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advice

okay...so I am seventeen years old, and i have a little problem...

I think that i have an issue with the men in my life. See, i've never really had a father figure because my dad doesnt care really what i do. he has lived in the same house as me for my whole life, but he shows no interest in my life whatsoever. he doesnt even know my birthday, how old i am, or what grade i am in. I've always wanted to be like my friends and be a daddy's little girl, but no matter how hard i try, he still doesnt care. i've told him i love him so many times but he'll just hang up the phone or walk away.

i dont think i've done anything to disappoint him, i've always been a good kid, never in trouble...so why doesn't he love me?

but that's not really the main issue, i've come to realize now after seventeen years that he is never going to love me like i want him to.

But, i think that this is affecting my relationships with boyfriends. See, right now i have a pretty good boyfriend. and he treats me right, he says he loves me, and i really care about him too. A lot. but he lives about two hours away and we see each other on the weekends if we're lucky. I really want to be with him, but when i'm at school and other guys show an interest in me, i just can't seem to tell them i have a boyfriend or that i can't be involved with them. like right now, there's a boy who really likes me that goes to my school and he wants to date me, and i could possibly like him, but i think the reason i talk to him is because he's showing an interest in me, and i think i need that constantly...and i know it's horrible. i've never cheated on my boyfriend, but i have a feeling that its a possibility if i dont get a handle on this. thats why i'm asking for your help...
i feel like such a bad person.
but i really need to find a way to deal with this before i hurt my boyfriend.
any advice is appreciated. =)

It seems that the attention you don't recieve from your only dad, is what you are attempting to recieve from boys. But I'm letting you know that a boy's interest cannot fill a dad's love for their child at all. It will just become an addiction for you to have attention for no reason at all, so do not get caught up in that. Keep your eye on one guy, and one guy only. As far as your dad goes, you need to sit him down and talk to him about what is on your mind. I know that this has to be a hard thing to do, it may cause you to be nervous and you may feel that you are not able to do it, but if you want his care and attention you must confront him and tell him that he's treating you like dirt and it is affecting your social life. If he walks away as usual, or acts as if he doesn't care, maybe it's more than you, it's probably something else that he is not telling you that is causing him to dislike you. He probably has a personal issue that does not involve you but he feels he MUST take it out upon you. Talk to your mom about this if your dad won't. And if you can't than maybe it's time to face facts that you may never get the attention from your dad that you need so much. But DO NOT let that destroy you. "You can bring a horse to the water, but you cannot make it drink". You can tell your dad about how you feel, but you can't make him do anything about it, it is up to him and only him. Maybe, he wanted a boy or maybe it was something going on between him and your mom before they had you that is causing him to act this way towards you. But please dont let this get to you. This is why teens grow up with an un-leveled head, is because of this, I'm not going to show you sympathy nor empathy for this because I cannot understand or feel how your dealing with this because I've never been through it myself, and I'm not taking pity upon you, but I do sympathize over our situation. I give you luck on how you manage to overcome this.

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(Rating: 5) well thanks for the advice.
but i cant talk to him anymore. i've tried. my mom agrees with me, and neither of us know what his problem is. im not an only child, I have a brother so i dont think its that he wanted a boy. hes got one... but your advice was really well put and i appreciate it. =)
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