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I'm 18 and I really need advice.
When I was 15 years old I met a guy (he was 16 at the time) and I thought he was really gross because he was always hooking up with all these girls. He tried to start talking to me and he had kissed me once and he kept telling me he liked me but he didn't want a g/f. I told him that he just wasn't my type and I was over the games. After I said that he asked me to give him a week to get rid of all his hook ups that he had. I wasn't exactly going to hold my breath. Sure enough though exactly one week later he asked me out. Now, me being so young and NEVER having a boyfriend before I thought that was really sweet...
The guy was into a lot of bad things. Like being sexually active, drinking, smoking, and his friends were just as bad and rude. But I really wanted to fit in and I wanted him to really like me and have my fairy tale ending.
He was very manipulative but because I was only 15 I didn't notice it. I thought he loved me a lot...
We dated for over 8 months and then he broke up with me. Then for 6 months after that he kept leading me on asking me to wait for him and I kept going back to him. Well, finally we stopped talking, but I was always hearing stories about the mean stuff he would say about me to his friends.
He told me that he never really loved me and that I was only a bet between him and his friend that I never liked and always called me names to my face.
Anyway, it's been about a year since all of this has blown over but just 4 days ago he turns up in my life again. He told me he was sorry because he knows how I feel now because some girl broke his heart that he was madly in love with and bought her a ring and everything for. He claims he doesn't remember how bad he treated me and would "love to hang out with me and not have any tension between us" and I saw him at a store two days ago and I just wanted to hit him.
The thing I need advice on guys is, why am I still so hurt after it being about a year or so? I usually never hold grudges against people, I forgive pretty easily I think and I don't like the feelings I am getting about him. I am such a happy person when he is not around but anytime he shows up in my life I think of all the things he told me and how I gave myself up to him and how I truly cared for him, how stupid I feel, and how much I think he is a bad person for knowing I was so young and unaware but still used me for a bet with his friends who ACTUALLY paid him. He promised me he'd never tell anyone... He promised me and told me a lot of things that he didn't mean and I'm so sad, hurt, angry, and upset. But I want to move on... I just need help. I feel like such an idiot for not seeing how bad he was... And I feel so alone.
And I'm not sure if this matters but, I was home schooled since 4th grade. So, yeah it is very different for me and wanting to fit in and knowing what's "normal" for people my age. And I did sleep with him but not because I wanted to. I wanted to wait til marriage and I haven't had a bf since this guy and I don't want to be with another guy again because I'm so scared he'll do the same thing to me. I want to wait til I'm married I just want this feeling to go away. I'm sorry that this is so long but I can't talk about this with anyone else and it's a lot to carry. I'm just still so upset with my self, him, and everything. And like I said, not only am I still angry with him. But I haven't been in a relationship since because anytime a guy tires to get close to me, I mess things up because I'm too scared to be with any guy. Can anyone help me at all? Am I completely crazy? (Oh and please no being rude okay? I already regret things enough. I'm really looking for some good advice and guidance here...) (link)
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Female: 15
You're story, is my story. I mean EXACTLY. The same. Except i wasnt home schooled. A Bet yup thats what happened to me. You know, i know how i feel because my ex did the same to me. And i still suffer from that. This is what i do, i just think about something like, You know try to date someone else, try to fill your mind, try to just admire a guys looks and personality, this is what i am doing right now, but i still think about him, but not as much. Your question, makes me worry, because im 15 and that same thing is happeneing to me right now, and you're still hurting. I'm sorry if i didnt help. I just want to try, but i cant even help myself.
I'm sorry for wasting your time reading this.
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Rating: 5
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Thank you so much for your input. Actually just knowing that someone else has gone through what I have and I am not the only one makes me feel a million times better. Thank you very much sweetie. I'm sorry that happened to you too though it does hurt. And don't worry; the reason it's taken me so long is because the guy has still been in my life non stop and I'm just not as strong of a person like most other people are. =)
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