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First of all, I applaud you in your decision to end a relationship that was moving too quickly for you. That can be a very hard thing to do.
Now that you feel ready to have sex, I would advise you to talk to someone who can help you if you have not already. Your mother, your doctor (anything you share with your doctor, minor or not, will be held in confidence) or you can visit a local planned parenthood. Arm yourself with knowledge of your body and how it works, about sexually transmitted diseases and about contraception. This is the only way to ensure your own health and safety. I hope that you're already on birth control. Do not rely on condoms alone to prevent pregnancy or even all types of sexually transmitted disease. Of course, once you begin having sex, make sure you visit a gynecologist regularly for an exam.
Do not give your body to anyone out of fear that you will never find someone who will love and care for you. Making the decision to have sex is an adult decision and for that reason, you must exercise mature caution and restraint.
You know in your heart that you would regret the decision to sleep with him. Trust in what your heart is telling you. Very rarely is it ever wrong.
You are only 17 with many, many years ahead of you. At your age, it is more common that you have not found the person for you. You need to grow and mature and develop the ability to stand on your own two feet confidently before you ever consider sharing your heart and your life with someone else.
We all feel this way at one time or another. It's perfectly natural as the fear of being alone is the greatest we have. Please try to concentrate on having fun with your friends and on continuing your education at this point in time.
Your self worth is not dependent upon having a boyfriend. Period. You will find someone who will love you. Remember that high school is so small in comparison to the world. The one for you may simply be waiting somewhere else. Through college, your career and your every day life you will meet many incredible people. Just take a deep breath and relax!
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