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I spend my days at concerts.

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it's wrong... because YG is supposed to be this family bonding..or what ever people continue to say...

DOES ANYONE ELSE HAVE THIS PROBLEM?!

where they like someone from their YG (or from school etc.)yet their like a best friend to you...and you couldn't dare take the chance to lose him as a friend?


You realize.."alright just be happy with what you have right now..which is a great friendship." But UGH that thought or imagination of what it would be like to be something more than just friends brainwashes you.

WELCOME to MY WORLD... hmm 7-8 months only...i've been like this... Don't get me wrong i attend to church for my unconditional love with God..but yet theres him...my bestfriend someone who never looks bad..someone who just i can't see but only him...it's like i'm left in a room with ONLY him and no one else.

HMMM more about us...well you see..this boy... lets call him darien shall we? :)
Darien well he's kinda shy...meaning he's not that average boy who can just jump up to any girl and talk to her right away...it's always a girl who talks to him first THEN he will start to talk to her..But OK so me and darien...supposdly people from YG has thought that he has liked me...because i'm a rare girl who he talks to A LOT... they say i'm his "no.1 girl best friend"
which i don't mind :) But yet...

i like him...and yet..i always wonder WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME...personally i'm not afraid to admit the fact that no..i am not ugly...i'm perfectly fine. I'm smart straight As all the way. I'm nice friendly funny...i'm a big social clown... So i ask...whats wrong with me...i try to look for reasons as to why he WOULDN'T like me more than a friend... (cocky of me..i know)

so i asked a friend one day and she said "wow..ok i swear darien likes you...or as least has..because online he just would always talk about you..and say oh serena said that too! or serena this and serena that..." So one time my friend asked him..."Do you like ashely?" (ashely is a girl from yg..who also likes him) he said flatly no... then my friend asked "what about serena?" He NEVER said no..all he typed in was She's nice...and he would change the topic...
IS THAT A SIGN?

NOW DAYS...it's been obvious that i like him..
so we went to a retreat...

BEAUTIFUL...

all our cabins next to a lake with about 170 people there in total.. we went canoeing together (me and darien) and...i sat on the swings alone..and he sat with me and we had a swinging contest :P i WON..hahahahhaha

anywho
While we were on the canoes people said "SERENA THIS ISN'T A ROMANTIC GET AWAY!" and they were kidding cause they had a foolish wild grin on their face but those people all knew about my secret with darien.

darien just said..haha sigh*

and it sucks...being stuck on that boat with the dude you like...and being embarassed so i just coughed unconditionally several times and said i was fine (i didn't know what else to do!)
i kept thinking to myself...it done..he knows... becuz funny thing is..when we land the canoe onto shore my friends see my and darien and they yell. "OH MY GOD SERENA I'M SO PROUD OF YOU!" and gave me the thumbs up.
i just laughed...and ran to the swings..he joined me and we had fun...

OK now heres the other part

So we had encouragement notes..where we can each write anyone in the retreat a note...and put it in their mail box ...
he wrote me one..he drew us on a canoe and said hope you had a great retreat and goodtimes on teh canoe and swinging :) see ya later!

i was so happy...
and i was even HAPPIER when i found out that none of my girl friends from yg got one from him.
then of course when retreat ended we talked a lot on AIM.
is this a sign? :p

haha i suck at this...

i'm sorry...wat a bother to be reading about my stupid life...but if you just want to be a jolly fellow and leave any advice or comments..feel free to do so...:)

i think that there is some sort of undeniable chemistry between you two, but who's to know for sure unless one of you speaks up and says something. only do that if you're comfortable with saying 'i like you more than a friend' and you're willing to take the good or the bad outcomes because sometimes you just have to put yourself out there. that's what life is going to bring.

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(Rating: 5) thanks soo much! :)
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