Member Since: April 25, 2008
Answers: 33
Last Update: September 12, 2010
Visitors: 2901
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I am 24 years old and am currently at a point in my life where I don't think I can be friends with my life-long friend of 19 years.
I have stood by him, even though it was hard, despite all the terrible decisions he's made with his life. He has 2 DWI's, lost his car, lost his band because of his drinking, lost many friends, slept with a friends girlfriend whom he is currently still with. He faces jail time, and could quite possibly lose his job. Needless to say, he's almost lost everything.
The other night my girlfriend and I went out with them, trying to put things behind us. Well, he decided to just disappear and abandon his girlfriend there. She was understandably upset and we took her to his house, where her car was. In the end, he was extremely angry that we helped her, and accused me of telling her lies and badmouthing him. Also saying I'm trying to "get between them."
In a nutshell, 3 people have one account of the evening, and he has his. It's completely wrong. He's desperate, possessive, and not fun to be around anymore. He doesn't want help, and gets defensive claiming people should mind their own business, etc, despite being his best friend.
It only got worse... He actually blindsided me for helping her, punching me in the nose from behind me. It became a physical confrontation and was obviously a act of complete desperation since he claimed we were making the situation worse and were trying to "make him look bad."
I've tried helping but he isn't receptive. I'm not perfect either, and make plenty of mistakes, but every time we hang out it feels like a gamble. I'm tired of it. Is it selfish of me to move on with my life? (link)
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In most friendships that are rocky, I suggest to do what you can to help it. However..
He may be your very close friend but if he's physically and mentally hurting you, then you have to put yourself before him. You've put up with enough of him and you shouldn't let him drag you down. Give him the number of a clinic and walk away.
Hope this helps, it really all depends on what you chose yourself.
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Rating: 5
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Short but sweet, I appreciate it! You have helped support my decision to move on with my life. You are right, he is hurting me and holding me back. He doesn't want my help, so I need to march on!!
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