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Lily

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I'm not really sure how to start this so I'm just going to jump right in...

I was in a very abusive relationship for about 2 years, the guy hit me and would call me fat and just a lot of really bad things that I don't like to talk about.

Well, I got out of that relationship and it's been about a year and a half almost 2 years since then but I'm still having a very hard time with guys.

Every guy I've met (since the ex that abused me) stops talking to me. I always seem to scare them off I think. And I think it's because I'm very scared of guys and I tend to overreact over things because of it.

Any time a guy I meet does something my ex used to do I get scared because I'm so afraid of being adused again and being in a bad relationship like that so I freak out.

Like for instance the last guy I tried to talk to, he wanted me to "open up to him" because he said I seemed so sad and he wanted to know why. So I let my gaurd down and I told him SOME of the things that happened. Well, after I told the guy he started acting different before he left my house and he didn't call me when he got home, but he said he'd text me in the morning, well it was about 11am and he didnt text or call so I started texting him telling him how stupid i was for opening up to him and how he's acting different and he got really mad at me saying he was sleeping and how he doesn't understand how he was acting different. Well, we were fighting almost all day but I said I was sorry and things SEEMED fine because I thought we worked it out. But then after that he stopped talking to me... I tired texting him but he never responded and when I saw him he acted like he didn't know me so I started to do the same.

My question is, how do I stop scaring good guys off just because of what one bad guy did to me? I don't like people thinking I'm crazy, I'm not I'm just very scared and push people away. But I do just want to be liked and I'd like to be in a good relationship and I feel like just because of that one bad one it's ruined my chances and I feel like I don't even know how to act anymore around people. The abusive guy was my first bf, and I did sleep with him and not really by choice (not sure if that matters.) It was just very bad and my self esteem got very low. Does anyone have any suggestions? (sorry this is so long...)

For one thing, stop blaming yourself. Some people just get uncomfortable and don't know what to say with something like abuse, and that's not your fault.

Also, don't think that your ex ruined your chances at a good relationship. You emerged a stronger person because you did get yourself out of that situation. Try to remind yourself of that every time you get scared.

When the right person comes along, you'll know because he'll make you feel completely safe. :)

I hope this makes you feel better.

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(Rating: 5) Thank you for the support that was very nice of you. And thank you for the suggestion. I appreciate it. =)
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