My name is Lacey, I'm 22. 4th yr in college. I like to give advice. I try to be a good person.I'm a very outspoken and honest person.I honestly been through alot throughout my years of dating and taking peoples stuff.I play softball and use to play volleyball.I've been playing softball since I was about 5.And I played volleyball since 7th grade til sophomore year in HS.But that's really it.If you want to know more about me or have any questions.Go for it and ask away.Either message me or IM me sometime.BYEEE!
E-mail: lacey.simmons8@yahoo.com
Gender: Female
Location: Houston,TX
Age: 22
AIM: LACEY LiKE WOAHH
Member Since: June 7, 2007
Answers: 103
Last Update: April 25, 2012
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BitsandPieces
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Hi. I'm 17 and my boyfriend is 21. We have been together for a year and 4 months now. When we first got together, I remember him telling me about how his neighbor would beat his wife all the time, and he said this with admiration in his voice. I asked him if he thought it was okay to hit a woman, and he said yeah.
He does have anger problems, and the least little thing would set him off.
He used to tell me not to come to his house unless his cousin was with me, and one time I did go without his cousin and he huffed and puffed and balled up his fists, and turned sharply and walked away...later on he told me that he was going to knock me across the yard...he would always tell me how badly he wished he could put his hands on me and put me in my place. One time I was standing outside his car, and he hurt me by pulling my arm halfway through the window and pushing down on it from inside. But he never hit me.
But now he's taking medicine to control his temper and things are much better, and it's like he's a different person. But not long ago, I went to a friend's house, Don, to do his hair, and my boyfriend followed me there and hit the gas and kept speeding past the house, back and forth like a maniac. Then he called everyone he knows and got them to call me to tell me how much he was sorry, etc.
Another thing is that one night he took my cell phone from me and went through it and started calling numbers he didnt know, accusing me of cheating. When I tried to get the phone back, he almost hit me. Then he cornered me, grabbed my face tight, and told me that I had better not be cheating on him.
I'm afraid of him, so when he does things like that, I just lower my head. Then, when we're on the phone the next day, he laughs about how scared of him I was. Now he's told me that he doesnt want me to talk to Don at all anymore, even though I've told him constantly that we're just friends. And to top it off, he's trying to get me pregnant. I've told him I don't want kids right now, but he keeps 'forgetting' condoms or takes them off when I'm not looking. He has actually told me that he wants me to have his baby so that I can't leave him.
He's really a sweet person, and compared to what I went through when we first started dating, our relationship is peaceful now. But now that we're supposed to be living together soon, I'm worried that he might change and go back to his old ways. Call me crazy, but we have a great relationship when he's not angry, and I don't want to leave...I've tried leaving him in the past, but he cries and begs for me to come back. Since he's been taking his medicine the only time he gets really mad is when he thinks I'm cheating or something.
How high is the chance that he's going to become physically abusive in the future? Would this already be considering abuse or controlling behavior? Any thoughts/advice is appreciated. Thanks! (link)
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You need to get out of this relationship wether or not you want to or not. Your putting yourself in a BAD situation and alot of the times, people who are with someone for a long time and have been taken advantage of, DON'T get out of the relationship. I think you might be getting into something you can't handle to be honest. You know what's he's capable, why put yourself in such a big hole where you can't get out by living with him? This act of violence and abusiveness will not stop. He might go off on you and end up hitting you or harming you some how. I don't see any reason to stay with him. Obviously he doesn't trust you and you guys don't have any communication between you guys. All these things you've said are negative except when he's on meds, but even on meds, he freaks out on you, thinking your cheating. What good is that? I don't see him ever changing the way he is. That's how he was raised and what he believes in. He thinks it OKAY to hit a girl. If he already believes that then he won't doubt hitting you when he really gets ticked off. My advice is to get out of that relationship quick.. before he takes advantage of you and you won't be able to get out. I really hope things work out for you and if you ever need any other advice, let me know!
- Lacey
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