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f/14
okay so basically, i used to have a perfect life, then my parents got divorced and my dad went and got his new girlfriend pregnant so now i have a baby brother. none of that is my problem though, that's just backround info. so one day i decided to just experiment and cut myself. from then on, im a completley different person. i am addicted to cutting and im never happy everyone in my life found out my problems and ive been to therapy so much its discusting. the only person i tell anyone anything is my best friend. her parents are alcoholics and she has the worst anxiety and bi-polar ever but her parents don't care. every day i pray and pray that i will die because i hate everything and i'm never happy. i've tried multiple times to commit suicide but have not been succesful. my best friend doesn't do anything bad, then the other night she told me she cut herself. if it wasnt for me she would never have done it, and im bulimic and she made herself throw up. i feel like im ruining everything. everyone is so stressed about me they dont have time for anything and i dont even want it. i want to die so badly its sickening. i know how to kill myself for real but i know i cant do it because theres still a part of me that's scared, scared of leaving and what people will do and what will happen. idk what to do i hate being here but i dont know where to turn anymore. every day i get worse and worse and no one even knows or cares. the world would be so much better without me so why should i even stay?

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