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advice

I really apologize for however long this might turn out to be.

I'm 17 years old and I've been with my boyfriend for a little over 3 months. The first 2 months had been really great. We had our share of problems but we worked through them, and many people have been given us respect for living an hour away from each other but still seeing each other often and making it work. Lately, however, I feel as if he's stopped caring. He used to call me often and we'd be on the phone for hours, but now it's always me calling him and the onversation is so...boring and short.

Don't get me wrong, I REALLY like my boyfriend. But the relationship has kind of reached a wall. It's just been really boring lately. We used to hang out and have a great time doing nothing...but now I feel like all we do is hook up every time I see him. I know he feels the same way because we both have the same best friend and he brought it to my attention that we need to have a serious talk. And I know it he still likes me because he told that to our best friend, but we're basically both feeling really bored.

I'm going to have a talk with him when he comes over on Wednesday about everything. But honestly, I REALLY don't know where to go to from there. I'm afraid to try TOO hard, but I definitely don't want to not try hard enough. What exactly can we do to make the relationship fun again?

PS. I'm definitely going to ask him if we can slow down because we really did move too far, too fast.

Also, one thing that may be a big problem with this is that he really enjoys a chase. I think he had to chase me to get me and now that he's got me he doesn't know what he wants. Now that we're dating, I can't give him a chase because he knows he already has me. And if I do something to try to give him a chase he might mistake it for me not caring anymore. I just feel like I can't make him happy...

You are already on the right track. By talking to him on Wednesday, you will know where to go from there and what to do. ALL relationships go through a stage of boredom, no matter the time you've been in it. The goal is learning how to keep it interesting and exciting. I am sorry that you feel like you may ask that things slow down, especially living an hour away- things are already slower than normal relationships, I would think. Things you can do to make it fun again are set goals of activities to do whenever you know you two are going to see eachother, differing from what you already do. parks, drive in movies, walking, dancing, dinner that you both prepare together,sending flowers and cards to let the other know you are on their minds and that you still care. Bring back some of the things you did in the first 2 months that dropped off now. Another thing, I want to know, do you trust him?

The whole chase thing should be obsolete, as you both are already in a relationship. Why chase that in which either of you already have? Men do enjoy chasing, as they are hunters by nature. Which is why I will cut it off in a minute as soon I detect game.

Decide if you are happy or not. Ask him if he is happy or not, don't make the assumption that you aren't making him happy. He may just need to talk to you as you need to talk to him. He could be going through something, you never know until you guys have that conversation. Once you have that conversation and still have questions or concerns post another question and take it from there.

Best of Luck to whatever you 2 decide to do for your happiness, peace and serenity! (with or without him)

[view]

(Rating: 5) Thank you very much. You definitely gave me a lot of reassurance. I'm still nervous as to where our relationship will end up, but I will definitely take a lot of what you said into consideration.

As for the trust issue, I have a lot of trust in him. He is a one girl kind of guy and from what his friends have been telling me, he's not the kind to give up on a relationship so easily (although it seems like he is right now).

Thank you again for your advice and I hope I can come back to you with better news of me and him together.
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