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advice

16/f

This probably sounds quite silly but heres the situation: I've already got one big group of friends that I hang with on weekends and in the summer and in some of my classes and all that. But theres this other group of kids that I would really like to like be a part of. I'm really good friends with some of the girls in it, like I've been friends with them since elementary school- in fact, we were best friends in elementary school. They're a totally different "style" if you understand what I'm saying. Like my current social group is like this random, really eclectic mix of kids who just want to be silly and have fun, and this one is more artsy, musical, intelligent, and creative. I would really fit into this group and would really like to be a part.

Well the problem is, I hang out with the second group all the time at school, but I never get invited when they hang out outside of school. I know they hang out all the time because they all put pictures on facebook and talk about it and stuff. Don't get me wrong, I get in sometimes, when its like a huge group that encompasses like "everybody", but when its like the core of the group I'm not in it. I'm not sure I'm explaining it well... It's not like they're selective, I'm just not in their little social circle. I try to plan events and invite the people that I do know well and encourage them to bring others, but I suspect they think I don't know them that well, but I do, becuase im in the school band with them, where everybody knows everybody well. So basicly my question is, how can I become like a "regular" in their social circle?

oh, and don't get me wrong- I'm not trying to leave my current friends- I'm just trying to make some new friends because I'm attracted to their style, their political/activist oppinions, and frankly, their more intuectual behavior. and also, as as with most 16-yr girls' actions, there is a boy involved... who i would definately like to get to know better!

No, it doesn't sound silly to me at all. It sounds like you are finding yourself and gaining identity of who you are.

First, why don't you just flat out ask the group that you would like to hang with if they would like to do something over the weekend? Upon coordinating the event, also invite your other group of friends unless you have a reason of not wanting to. I know that you said that you invite and encourage others to invite others, but why don't you do ALL of the inviting period? OR since there is a boy involved, why not express your interest in him? upon getting to know him, and being introduced to hang with him, you will also gain an opportunity to hang with the group too. Don't get me wrong, I am not advising you to JOCK anybody- seriously, DON'T beg anyone to like you, accept you or notice you. Just be yourself and don't set yourself up to be accepted into any group as a result of anything differing from interest of who you are and your standards b/c that could lead to hurt or you getting used or even talked about and treated like an outsider.

Why not just ask them what they are doing one day after school and ask if it's cool if you hang with them? it's a simple yes or no answer. If they say no, then consider them not interested in hanging with you. If the answer is sure, then go for it and have fun! Don't sell out on your other friends and cause them to feel hurt or neglected. It's not like you are separating from them just increasing your network of friends.

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(Rating: 5) excellent! thank you.
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