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February 19, 2008Answers:
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Welcome to REALIFEADVICE, thank you for visiting my column, pleas feel free to email or leave feed back....REALIFEADVICE@COLUMNIST.COM
Look forward to talking soon,
Chandler XX
advice
f/19.
i've been with him for 4 years, and counting.
my boyfriend went to get an x-ray at the hospital and ran into an old hight school friend, her name is marlo. she wasn't gorgeous, but also wasn't completely unfortunately looking. anyhow, he felt the need to text his friend saying, hey i saw marlo at the hospital, 'she was looking too fine' . i read his texts, which he doesn't mind, he reads mine all the time, but back to the point.. it really hurt me. it made me feel worthless, i honestly can say that i don't go checking out guys, i really don't. and this hurt my feelings. and made me feel so ugly on the outside. how do i get over this feeling, i feel so turned off now, i don't even want to have sex with him anymore. oh and this isn't the first time i found a text similar to this in his cell.
Hi,
Why do you routinely read each others text messages? This doesn't come across as a singe of a healthy or trusting relationship - and let's face it if you hadn't been reading his texts you wouldn't be in this situation now would you?
I'm not saying ignorance is bliss or anything like that but your boyfriend hasn't actually done anything wrong, he hasn't cheated and he clearly didn't have anything to hide as left that text on his phone knowing very well you may read it.
Do you stop finding attractive people attractive when your in a relationship, NO, well I don't and I know that's the norm for most people - but finding some one attractive and making a comment about it to a friend doesn't mean you want to jump into bed with them or think or feel any less for the person your with. And it is you he chooses to be with, that must mean something?
Honest opinion? = over reaction, paranoia and STOP reading each others texts!
Chandler
(Rating: 1) i asked for you to help me get over the situation. not to yell about how i found out. we read each others texts because we're open about everything. it isn't about being paranoid.. and we are seriously almost married, why wouldn't i be allowed to read his mail, we share everything. and i know he doesn't want to jump into bed w/ her, it wasn't about that either, i jut didn't like how it made me feel reading the remark he sent.