Q: Ever since I was 5 my Dad got married, giving my a new step mother and step brother to deal with. His mom and my dad knew each other through our church, so I always knew he wasn't my real brother, and even if I didn't; He's Black and I'm Dominican, so it's kind of "apparent". I'm a couple of months older than he is.
He's usually a quiet and calm person, but I feel he goes out of his way to make time if I want to talk or just chill. He's an awesome step-brother; the best, and I thank God for him like everyday.
A couple of years back, I started looking at him...differently. All the traits I like about him, I started to love about him. Things I took for granted started becoming really difficult to do. I feel really self conscious when I'm next to him, and I feel awkward when we're in the same room, just watching TV. I can't even talk to him easily any more because of the secret I'm keeping from him.
It didn't take him long to pick up on it, and he tried to sit me down and talk. I was reluctant, but he got really worried that he'd done something to me and wouldn't let it go. we've talked about a lot of things but nothing as major as this. I wasn't sure how he'd take it, and I lost my temper and shouted at him to back off, and he started walking out the room. And then he said the worst words I'd want to hear. He said "I love you", something he doesn't just say out of the blue, but I can't tell if he loves me loves me, or whether it was just because he thinks I hate him for some reason. It's been three weeks since that incident, and we haven't spoken to each other, which I hate, but it makes living so close to him much more bearable.
I've never felt this way about anyone else before, and I know what I feel is real because of the fact he's my step brother so I know him intimately (platonic, not the other kind), but I'd hate to be rejected...or worse if he takes real bad.
Should I tell him how I really feel, or keep us distant?
